unlocking the process for your purpose

Helping You Live Out Your Purpose By Uncovering The Process To Get There

unlocking the

process for your

purpose

Helping You Live Out Your Purpose By

Uncovering The Process To Get There

This is my story – a tale of tenacity, triumph, and transformation...

CHASTIN J. MILES

I was a young man with a dream to conquer the real estate world...

Embark on a journey defined by purpose, momentum, and legacy - the story of Chastin J. Miles, an entrepreneur who not only transformed his trajectory in the real estate realm since 2014 but also ignited a path for others to follow.

Driven by process and purpose, Chastin evolved from a fledgling agent to a renowned thought leader, illustrating the power of the "Legacy Ladder" and the "Momentum Matrix". Harnessing the platform of YouTube, he has shared invaluable insights, amassing a community of millions ready to craft their legacies with clarity and intent.

Chastin J. Miles embodies the belief that through a clear process and unwavering purpose, anyone can build an enduring legacy. Join him on this transformative journey.

Coming Winter 2023

WHEN POOR KIDS

THINK RICH

Building Wealth Beyond Money: A Kid's Journey To Financial Freedom

"When Poor Kids Think Rich" offers an inspiring narrative, drawing from authentic experiences of an African American male who rose beyond traditional metrics of success.

This book delves deep into resilience, innovation, entrepreneurship, financial literacy, and the invaluable power of social capital.

Prepare to see wealth in a whole new light.

PODCAST

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From Self-Worth to Success: A Candid Conversation with Nwayne Davis

August 31, 202377 min read

From Self-Worth to Success: A Candid Conversation with Nwayne Davis

Chastin J. Miles: [00:00:00] What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of the Power Unit Success Cast. Super excited about today's episode because I have a near dear friend to me and my family, and I'm super excited because we've been having some conversations recently that have surprised me because her and I have never, well, I don't know your story.

I don't, I don't know what you do. I don't, but, but I'm like, oh, you real, real smart and you real like, so, so I'm super excited and, and I know that this is gonna be valuable. I promise myself that I'm gonna get vulnerable and I'm gonna open up. So wherever this goes, it's gonna go. Love it. But let me introduce you all to Miss Nani Davis here.

I need to know who, who are you? What do you do, Justin?

Nwayne Davis: I, I think, I think the, I think the shorter answer is what don't I do? What don't I do? But, um, yeah. So as you know, as you [00:01:00] introduced me, thank you so much. Let me first say that, um, I've said it privately and I will forever say it publicly. Thank you. Mm, thank you for this moment that I'm having right now.

Thank you for this opportunity, and I'm so, so very proud of you. Uh, who am I? Well, I'm, I'm a mother of two. Um, I'm a career woman. Um, I am passionate about people having a voice because I didn't for so long. Mm-hmm. And so, whether it's in corporate America, whether it's in your family, whether it's, whether it's to yourself in the mirror, you know, We gotta, we gotta have a voice and we gotta make sure we're saying the right kind of stuff.

So I'm an advocate of manifestation and speaking well to people and making sure that when you walk away, you feel good about who you are. Mm-hmm. That's, that's who I am. That's

Chastin J. Miles: it. I love that. Yeah. And I heard you say you're a career woman now. This, this show is mostly entrepreneurs. Mm-hmm. Um, small business owners.

Mm-hmm. People in [00:02:00] real estate and, you know, we're on that other side. Yes. And I constantly get in, I, I wouldn't even say battles, but discussions, debates, discussions on Fair enough. The career side of things. Yeah. So school, career, um, corporate. Mm-hmm. Versus going out on your own. And it seems, you know, my mind works one way, but I can definitely see the other side.

Yeah. How do you feel about entrepreneurship and just. Taking that

Nwayne Davis: big leap. I think that, and I'm glad you a that's a excellent question, and I wish somebody would've asked me that question at 25 30. Mm-hmm. I, I probably would've gotten to my dream a lot faster. Mm-hmm. Um, entrepreneurship in my mind, although I am not a entrepreneur, I've certainly supported people in my family and in my circle who are, but I tend to [00:03:00] think, and this is just how I operate in my life, even though I work for a company, I am an entrepreneur because I am still responsible for my brand.

I am still, and let me just be fair, I'm not claiming that I have a brand today. I feel like you have a brand, to be honest, but in, in my own little circle group, I have a brand, right? Mm-hmm. Um, we all do. And for me, that is exactly what that is. So when I go to work every day, when I come to a podcast, if I mc whatever I'm doing in my life, I'm representing me first.

Um, and so I believe as a career woman, if you're in COT school, wherever you are in life, you have to be owning you. You have to be owning your decision, your job, your life, where you're going. I tell my sons all the time, don't let life happen to it. You have, you don't, don't let life happen to you. You happen to it.

And I, I say it all the time because it's true, because in my heart of hearts, I'm an entrepreneur too. Yeah. [00:04:00]

Chastin J. Miles: Yeah. There was a point in my career where I, I was in an open house. Mm-hmm. I was thinking about my electricity being turned off at home for, to tank a gas in my car. Mm-hmm. And I was sitting here trying to build a business.

Right. I'm sitting in this open house out of that. Yeah. Out of rubble. Exactly. Basically, nobody was coming in and I was just, I got to that point where it was like, What am I doing? Why am I doing this? I can go work somewhere. I feel like I'm a little smart. I can go, you know? You're very smart. Yeah. And, and you know, make it, make it happen.

Yes. And be an asset. But there was something, I don't know, pulling at me to the other side. Right. And it, and it was nothing like that mindset of, oh, I don't want to have a boss and I just wanna, you know, it was, it, it was more so like, I think I just want call the shots, you know? And that's okay. Yeah. But I've never heard or even thought about [00:05:00] like, you are the brand, like you are even, even in a career field.

Absolutely. And now that I think about it, I'm like, yeah, yeah. I mean, I go to events and there's speakers from different companies, like they're building the

Nwayne Davis: brand. That's how, that's how you better see yourself when you walk in that office. Because here's the deal, if you don't see yourself that way, Then they do own you.

Mm, they do. If you don't see yourself that way and you see yourself as an entrepreneur, what that allows you to do is go into that job and give them everything. Give them 110%. Because someone's always watching. Mm-hmm. Someone is always watching. I believe that as well. And you don't know who your next boss is gonna be.

You don't know who's watching now, now, now. Now watch this. I'm at work doing my job that they're paying me to do, and I'm doing it to the best of my ability. And we have an event, we have a women's symposium, and in the women's symposium I [00:06:00] am moderating a panel of entrepreneur women. Little, oddly enough.

Right. And in that moment, yes, I'm working for my organization. Yes, I'm representing them, but I was also representing me. I. In that moment I was an entrepreneur because I was doing something, one that I had never done. And two, something that I thought may take me out of my comfort zone, but it didn't. But still, I was, I was up for the challenge.

And three, it led me here. Hmm. My organization didn't lead me here. You did? Yeah. And, and I'm, and I'm, and when I point to myself, I don't mean me. 'cause I, I never wanna take God out of what is going on in my life. Because honey, he is everything. Yes. And he is, I, I'm, I'm grateful for everything he's done for me.

But what I'm getting at is they saw me. Mm-hmm. You understand what I'm saying? Yep. And so, anytime you're working for anybody doing anything, [00:07:00] whether it is for yourself or it's for an organization or it's for someone else, you're still your brand. Right. And you better represent it the best way you can.

Chastin J. Miles: Right. How comfortable do you feel with. How can I say this? With having a brand or putting, you know, just, just even. How you talk, how you walk, how you look, how comfortable do you feel being expressive while you are under a corporate umbrella? Here's how my apprentice got three real listings from social media, and trust me, she was not a social media expert and very shy in front of the camera.

So she put up a few videos on TikTok just marketing her business, but she wasn't getting a single lead from, well, not a real one, at least, you know, those. Fake leads, they just waste your time or they give you wrong information. That's all that was coming in. So I told her that in order to get real leads, you have to get real information, and the only way to do that is by offering something that we call A D D P.

[00:08:00] So I helped her create an ebook that she can give away for free, and we did it in less than an hour. Really. From there, she created a video and she was giving valuable information, but at the end of the video, she offered people to download that ebook for free. Within the first week, she got tons of downloads, but she got three real listing appointments that converted into listings, and people are still coming in.

So if you are thinking that social media leads are trash, or if you're spending hundreds of dollars a month running ads, that's getting you crap leads, there's a better way. And the good thing about this is that it's extremely duplicatable for any agent and it's all organic. Hit the link and send me a dmm if you want to implement a strategy like this into your business.

Nwayne Davis: So that, that, that takes some talent. Um, sometimes if you are in an organization that is open to diversity and celebrates inclusivity [00:09:00] and authenticity, if you are blessed to be in that baby, yeah, please show up with your pink hair. No hair, blonde hair, however, do the job. Do it. Well, I mean, don't, you know, our, our, my, my, um, our, where I work, uh, our c e o says often she says, don't bring all of it.

Like, give, bring a little bit today. Bring a little bit. You know, don't, don't just walk in with all of you. Um, and we say that jokingly, of course. Yeah. But really, if you're fortunate enough, great. For those people who don't have that, oh man, I, I, I've been there. I've certainly been there, and it's hard. But if you can really, really stay true to who you are, I mean, when you say expressive, we, I express myself through, through how I dress and my hair and my makeup.

All of that is like art to me. But whatever that is for that individual, however they choose to show up, as long as it's respectful and it isn't harming anybody else, you have [00:10:00] to get to a place where you can do that. And if you're working somewhere where you can't, oh boy, we're in trouble. Yeah.

Chastin J. Miles: And that's interesting because even in the real estate industry mm-hmm.

I mean, I get people asking me all the time, um, I have tattoos, you think I can be a realtor? Yes. Or, you know, this and that. And when people see me, you know, and I'm in jeans and a t-shirt. Yeah. It's, it's, it's kind of like, oh, I didn't know that realtors could do that. You know? And it blows my mind, but. I used to think the same

Nwayne Davis: way.

I'm so glad you said that because here's here, here's the, here's the point that I wanna bring home. It's people like you. It's people like me who are going to judge you on your merit and your, your work experience and not the way you look. And if we start opening up opportunities for people based on their ability to do the job well and not based on how they look, then we can kind of disseminate this [00:11:00] whole nonsense about hair and tattoos and, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, seriously. And it's that, that's over. Yeah. That should be

Chastin J. Miles: over by now for sure. And it's unfortunate because, you know, I can tell that appearance takes away confidence for a lot of people. And it did for me, like back when I first started, I had. One suit and Taylor and I didn't even know what that was.

I, I knew what him and pants was. Can we be honest

Nwayne Davis: for just a minute? Can we just act, can we just stop acting like you got that this just happened? Yeah. Seriously. Um, I remember moving to North Carolina. I had my, my, at the time, my three year old, four year old son at the time. And I, they, I got invited to church by my family, had no church clothes 'cause I hadn't been to church, right?

Mm-hmm. I mean, all my stuff, I was like, I can't wear this to church. Um, and I had a lady who just came in one day and, and, and saw me and said, [00:12:00] listen, I wanna help. I'm gonna bless you with some clothes because she obviously saw one or two outfits that I wore. Um, and I will never forget her for that and I appreciate her for that.

But it also in that moment, birthed something inside of me that said, why I gotta be dressed perfectly to come here. I'm not putting that on that church. I'm just saying that was the, that was the mindset though. Mm-hmm. Right. And I don't know, I mean, we can speculate about how that started and where it started, but the reality is when are people ever good enough?

Right? So we can change their clothes and we can change their hair and we can, when, when is this gonna matter? When is this gonna matter? Exactly. Right. And so, yeah. No, it's a hard no for me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not judging you based on what you got on and that's bad or good. I'm not thinking you're all that because you walk in here in Louis V either.

Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Right, right. I'm not thinking you're intelligent because you drive a a [00:13:00] Maybach. Right. I mean, I wanna talk to you and see how you treat the waiter. Yeah. How you treat the doorman. Yeah. 'cause if you're an ass to them, You're an ass to me.

Chastin J. Miles: Yep. Oh my gosh. You can, can I say ass?

Yeah, of course. You can ask any one of my agents, I mean, ev even David mm-hmm. Who's sitting in, in the room. You know, as I, as I've always trained them, I'm like, you'll never put anybody down. No, sir. Like I said, some of your best people are gonna be the, the door people, the mauries, the, the, the woman,

Nwayne Davis: the person that answers the

Chastin J. Miles: phone.

Exactly. I see it. Who's trying to get to you? That's who we're talking to, and that's who we're be befriending. Mm-hmm. Because at the end of the day, for one, those people are way more approachable. Mm-hmm. And you just have a good time with them. And then secondly, they, the ones really making the decisions.

You know, like

Nwayne Davis: some, I have said it a million times, I have said it a million times when I would support CEOs. I'm thinking, I'm the [00:14:00] person. You need to be nice to Exactly. I, I, I cover the calendar and I cover this, and I cover that. Yes. But, but more importantly, I, I, I used to be the one who people overlooked and who people talked down to and made to feel like she was nothing and she wasn't smart enough and she was too loud and she, I was her, so I know what that's like.

Um, I don't think you have to go through hardship to have empathy. I would hope not. But a lot of times that is where it comes from because, you know, so I know what it feels like to, to be shunned. Yeah. So I'm always, you know, I'm always fighting for the underdog.

Chastin J. Miles: Yeah. Always. I've felt for a majority of my career that I was always fighting for something, like always fighting for something, recognition.

Mm-hmm. Appreciation. Mm-hmm. A chance a shot. Mm-hmm. You know, and it's like, when, when does it end? I don't think [00:15:00] it ends, you know, even today I'm fighting for something. Right. Yeah. And, I don't, I don't necessarily know what that's going to lead to. You know? It's, it's just like, when, when do you get to that point where it's like, okay, you finally somebody, because it has an effect on me even personally, because if I feel like I'm fighting Yes.

Right, then I'm not coming off as if I'm winning the battle. Right. Because I still feel like I'm in

Nwayne Davis: the fight. Gotcha. Let me, let me, let me help you with that. Number one, he's winning, so let's stop saying when I'm winning or when I'm going to win, or he is already winning in this moment. Um, funny thing that you would say, I feel like I'm always fighting because, um, I had an event earlier this week, um, that I had to endure that involved court and stuff, and I came home and I was like, oh God.

And I said those exact words and I said, [00:16:00] God, I feel like I'm always fighting. Mm-hmm. I wanna, and, and I, and what I think I hear you saying is, I, I would like to just kind of enjoy mm-hmm. This right now, but I'm always fighting. Here's what I wanna tell you. Here's one thing. I want you to walk away from every battle and every fight you get in, I please want you to know and repeat to yourself and make sure you understand that the fight is fixed.

You win. So if you under, if you go into these battles and, Ooh, baby, I've been in some, if you go through these battles, understanding this fight is fixed anyway. I don't care if, if, if I hit him two times or he hit me 10, I'm walking out with the bag. Mm-hmm. So hit me twice, I'm gonna fall down so I can hurry up and get outta here.

But we win anyway. Yeah. And that's what you gotta know. And so, yes, fighting is a part of what we're doing because you're building, bro. Yeah. You're building. And, and I don't imagine what I know about you that you're ever gonna stop building. I don't see you. Right. [00:17:00] Ever stopping building. Yeah, there's gonna be some battles, but that keeps you sharp.

What, what, what person, you know, in the military, or what fighter do you know, or what fighter pilot do you know that doesn't battle? They, they have to battle to stay sharp. Yeah. Because the war is coming and I don't, and I mean that figuratively, of course. Mm-hmm. But I'm just saying, you're gonna have things that, that you're gonna need to really tackle.

So these little boxes, these little speed bumps. Yeah. We gotta take 'em so that we stay

Chastin J. Miles: sharp. Yeah. And that reminds me of, you know, that saying this comes with the territory. Yes. Yes. Because yes. I mean, if I think about it, yes. Every fight I, I brought it on, you know, I brought it on. Trying to level

Nwayne Davis: up, trying to, and would it be fair to say that you elevated

Chastin J. Miles: after each one?

Yep. Come on. Exactly. Yes. It comes with the territory. Yes, it comes with the territory. Now, speaking of that, so elevating. Mm-hmm. I'm so glad that you mentioned that word, because I heard you earlier say, Manifesting and Yes, [00:18:00] this is, this is one of my areas that I'm just obsessed with. Mm. And I tell this little story.

Oh, I'm so glad. Um, it was last year, so last year I created a vision board, put it in my office, and it was just hanging there on like one of them little cheap poster boards. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Um, but I put all these like ridiculous pictures on their life as you should have stuff that I, you know,

Nwayne Davis: just a helicopter.

Ridiculous stuff. Right, right,

Chastin J. Miles: right. Yeah. Right. Um, And then I had some business partners. They, they had visited my office because I just held an event and they were like, oh, we wanna see your office. So I took them up and they were in my personal office and they saw the, the vision board. So they're just sitting there looking at it.

And then I

Nwayne Davis: looked, and this is the regular, this is the regular vision board. First one you've made. Dollar Tree cardboard, just regular. Exactly. I love

Chastin J. Miles: it. Printed the pictures off of Google Images. It cut out some magazines. Yes, yes. All of it. [00:19:00] The, the, uh, the

Nwayne Davis: glue stick.

Chastin J. Miles: Exactly. Got it. I love it. Exactly. So I did that vision board at the beginning of the year.

This event I had was toward the end of the year. Okay. And so they're sitting there looking at the vision board and they're saying, what's that? What you wanna do with that? What you wanna do with that? And my eyes started to water a little bit. Mm. Right. Because I'm looking at these images. I had like crazy stuff on there.

So like, I had a cover of Black Enterprise Magazine and I cut out my face and put it on there. I had, um, another TV state, so, so like I had the little e logo Okay. On there. I had a Zoom screen filled with people, a theater, this, so then I'm, oh, and then one of 'em, I had a row of houses, you know. Wow. Because then, because in my head I was like, I want, I wanna buy the block.

Do you remember what year this was?

Nwayne Davis: This was

Chastin J. Miles: last year. 2022. 2022. Yes. Yes. I said I wanted to buy the block. So anyways, we're sitting there looking at it and they're asking me, and I'm [00:20:00] getting, yeah. My eyes starting to tear up because I've looked at that black enterprise. I was like, well, I wasn't on the cover, but I was in black enterprise.

You were, you were couple, were couple months ago. Yeah. Yeah. I was looking at the, um, houses on there. Right? The row of houses. The row of houses there. I didn't buy a, a row, a block, a row of houses. A but I looked at that picture. I said, there's four houses in this picture, and how many

Nwayne Davis: does

Chastin J. Miles: he own? Four. Okay, I bought four that baby, come on, keep.

And, and I was just like, oh my gosh. Yes. This actually,

Nwayne Davis: it works. Chaston. I don't know. Let me tell, lemme tell you something, baby. I told a dear friend of mine who she would call me and, and as girlfriends do we call and, you know, we're, you know, griping about whatever. And she's calling me and she's griping about something.

And I said, baby, lemme tell you something. I said, lemme tell you something real quick. Here's what I say. And, and I got accused years ago of, you know, kind of being too [00:21:00] positive and too whatever. Mm-hmm. Listen, it works for me. Right. I said, I really want you to change what you're saying. I understand your reality is A, B, C, and D.

He ain't did this. They didn't do that. She didn't do that. He job, I get it. You're talking anyway. So how about we speak positively and even though we're speaking something that hasn't happened or existed yet, I thought that's what faith was. And faith is those things that are not as though they were, right?

Mm-hmm. We're gonna speak those things that are, are not. So I told her, I said, you are already calling me every week fussing, which I'm really tired of hearing. So how about you call me and instead of us saying all of these negative things, which are your reality, I get it. But let's start speaking. God, thank you for the checks in the mail that I didn't expect.

God, thank you that my children are this, or God thank you that my spouse or my partner or my friend thank you that I'm this. Thank. Just let's, let's go there. Yep, let's go there. And [00:22:00] I'm telling you, I've done it. Chasten, excuse me, I've spoken this into existence this very moment I am living because I spoke it and so many other things I can share with you.

Really, almost my entire life I have been able to just constantly speak that that's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to have. That's what it's going to be. And obviously, at least to line up with the word of God, we're not talking about speaking dumb stuff, but the realness, you better start with your mouth because isn't that where our power is already?

Yeah. Yeah. It starts here. Yeah. I mean obviously it may start in your heart of your mind, but once you let that thing out, baby, you've let it out. Yeah. So you better watch what

Chastin J. Miles: you say. I'm about to peel back the curtain on all this. Yeah. See, look, I'm adjusting myself, please, on the couch, because when I say I go deep with this mm-hmm.

I go real deep because I've seen the, the power and the vision board was just the first kind of like in your face,

Nwayne Davis: it's an act of faith. Right. There ain't nothing wrong with that. [00:23:00]

Chastin J. Miles: Right. And but then when I think back and realize just where I am now Yes. Versus where I was before. Yes. I manifested all of this.

You did. And I didn't. Even you, you know, I was just doing it for play, play back then. Yes, yes. Right. But then, so I started to do a lot of research. I started to really tap in, see how this works. Learn about our brain. Learn about Yes energy. Learn about frequency. Yes, sir. Right? Yes sir. Yes, sir. One thing is nobody can explain how the radios work.

You know, radio's a m fm, they can't, that's, that's, that's not through a satellite. It's not bouncing off of a, so it's, it's, it's at a frequency that people are having a hard time explaining. Now, the radio frequency is not the highest frequency. Right? Yes. Think about this. Our brains, our brains emit energy.

Our voice emit energy. We are energy, we are God, we, [00:24:00] we are filled. With all of it. And so the bi and, and the Bible says all of this. Mm-hmm. It's just been interpreted in so many different, different ways. Yes. However, speak and you shall have what, what, what you

Nwayne Davis: want. You shall have as a man think it. So is he.

Yes.

Chastin J. Miles: Everything conspires. Mm-hmm. To work in your favor. Yes. But that's what's the difficult part about it though. And I, and, and I, I wanna say this on purpose, please. Because most people think that it's just, I wanna get rich. I wanna get rich. Yeah. I wanna get rich. Yeah. Right. But how do most people say, I don't have no money.

I don't have no money. I, I, I don't have this. I don't know how I'm gonna do this. That's emitting the frequency as well. That's putting something out there as well. You can't just say what you want, but then on in the same breath, say what you don't have

Nwayne Davis: right now. All the fives need to listen when a 10 is talking.

Chastin J. Miles: [00:25:00] Yes. And, and thank you wisdom. Thank you. Wisdom. Wisdom. And, and, and it's very important, like, like when we say keep your mind strong. Mm-hmm. It's not just talking about like persevering. Yeah. It's, it's literally talking about keep your mind strong from those thoughts. Yes. Those thoughts can

Nwayne Davis: multiply.

Listen, everything begins with a thought. Yep. Everything. I had a girlfriend call me and she was saying, oh my God, I, and I'm using an example, um, but she was like, you know, I really suck at making chicken. I don't know. Mm-hmm. Whatever she was telling me, she just kept saying, I really suck at it. And I said, have you ever thought that you suck at it?

Because you say you suck at it? And she says, N no, I've never thought that. I've just always sucked at it. I said, but maybe because you say you suck at it. Mm-hmm. Stop saying you suck at it. And if it's something you really wanna learn how to do, you're intelligent. You can learn how to do that. Yeah. We can, we again stop.

Letting life happen to you. You happen to it. Life is gonna happen anyway. [00:26:00] By the grace of God, we're living stuff is gonna happen. You're gonna have that flat tire. You're gonna, you're gonna have life that has nothing to do with anything other than just life. But the that, that we can control. We can control what we meditate on.

Yeah. Thoughts come in our head. Thoughts come in my head all the time that are so stupid. You know? Oh, what if, what if it doesn't work? What if you sound crazy? What if you, you know? And then I just have to rebuke those and keep going. But the stuff we thinking about, the stuff we're letting come out of our mouth, baby.

Yes. You're manifesting all of it. Because this lady here, if you would've told me then, if you would've told me, oh my God. If you'd have told me I was about to try to be all cute and go back five or 10 years, no, no, no. If you'd have told me a couple of years ago, I wouldn't have expected this Now where I was at that time.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. But I began to speak it. Even when I didn't see it, even when I didn't know it was possible. But the more [00:27:00] I spoke it, and I'm saying it, you can fill in it however you want. It can be this podcast, it can be the job. It can be, I mean, I wanted to lose weight. She lost weight. Not just by speaking, but yeah, I eat a little less.

I'm hungry. I'm hungry right now, but I am. I am. I'm losing weight. But my point is I kept saying it until I started to believe it. And yeah, when you first start speaking positively over yourself, especially for those of us who are not used to being spoken positively over who don't even know where to begin, I spoke to a girlfriend this weekend who called me with something similar, and I told her, I said, I want you to go in the bathroom and I want you to.

Look yourself in the mirror and you, you tell her how bad she is and you tell her how smart she is and how brilliant. And she said, that's gonna feel so awkward. I said, I know it will. 'cause the first time I did it, it was awkward. It's like, God, I'm talking to myself. Yeah. But the more you say it, I started to believe it.[00:28:00]

And I would get up in the morning and say stuff like I was, you know, Mary J or something, you know, good morning, gorgeous. And then I started saying how beautiful I was and how wonderful I was, regardless of what other people's ideas were of me, what mattered was what I thought of me. Yeah. And I started to say that until I believed it.

And now you, you can't listen. Mm-hmm. I wish you would try to tell me what I'm not or what I am. Yep. I'm clear about that.

Chastin J. Miles: Yep. I wanna make a point here. This is, this is an example, so follow me with this. Yes. You mentioned that you, you know, thought about being on a podcast, you know, something you thought about mm-hmm.

Years ago. Mm-hmm. Did you reach out to me to be on this podcast? I did not. You did not? No. You did not. We were having a conversation one day we were leaving the concert. We were having a conversation one day and I was like, oh, you gotta be on the podcast. And then just recently here at an event, I was like, we have to make it happen.

And

Nwayne Davis: when you said it the first time, to be fair, I'm gonna be a hundred percent [00:29:00] transparent when you said it the first time, Chaston, I have heard it from so many people, but I was like, ah. Yeah. And it goes back to that mindset. Mm-hmm. You know, people were saying, oh, you'd be great. And I'm like, ah, will I just, my friends?

It's kinda like your friend group who says, yeah, you can sing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then when you go, you know mm-hmm. And sing, you can't. So I was like, I don't really know, but go, go finish your story. I just wanted you to know that. So,

Chastin J. Miles: so she did not ask me. Mm-hmm. I didn't even know she listened to my podcast.

I knew you had a great one. Yeah. She didn't say anything to me. It was just through conversation. But it was something that you knew that you wanted to do and you've said to yourself? Yes. Here's the point I'm trying to make with this. I call this the training and balance scale, but the most important thing about this is do not ever worry about how it's going to happen.

Ooh. Never, ever, ever try to control the how. No, because if you're a believer like I am. Yes, sir. You notice, say it [00:30:00] a lot in the Bible is what we call supernatural.

Nwayne Davis: It is. How did that happen? Supernatural. Where divine appointments can, can't explain it. Yeah. Can't explain it. Don't try. Even for me,

Chastin J. Miles: yeah.

That's how a lot of stuff has happened. Yes. I don't know how I got here. I don't know what the,

Nwayne Davis: I don't even know where I'm right now. I dunno where I'm right now, like, you know, but I know it's

Chastin J. Miles: amazing. Exactly. But it's having that mindset of expectancy. Yes. Yes. You know, like. I know I'm gonna be successful.

Nobody can tell me otherwise.

Nwayne Davis: Can you pause right there? Yep. You got it. Expectancy, expectancy live a life of expectancy. What you expect, chances are will happen. It really will. And so I, okay, I'm gonna be real. This is small, but this is, but I can go big too, but I don't wanna be out. Go big. I don't wanna be out here bragging.

I'm gonna go small. Okay. Lemme tell you something. When I go somewhere, I'm a brunch girl. I love to brunch. If you wanna find me, I'm at brunch. Okay? And so anytime I go anywhere, most times than not, [00:31:00] I say before I even get there, I say, God, thank you for a good parking spot. Now, good doesn't always mean upfront 'cause I told you I'm on my weight loss kick.

So sometimes I have to park far 'cause I'm getting ready to go in here and eat chicken and waffles. But a good spot could be under a shade of tree, A good spot could be upfront. It's whatever I need. I'm expecting him to deliver that. You know how, you know why you and I can expect great things from God.

Do you know why you and I this? I'm sitting here fanning out and when we, when this show is over, listen, just tell them. Don't call the police if they hear anybody yelling, it's all good yelling, but we are, we can expect this. And here's, here's where I'm going. So this may be tough for some people. I'll speak for myself.

I can expect great things because I do my best to open doors for people and make great things happen for them. And I don't do things for people because it's tied [00:32:00] to, uh, a benefit to me. It, it, I, it's just not, it's not, that's not why I'm in it. Some things, yes, they're transactional, we get it. But if I can help you, if I can help David, and that that is not tied to me in any way, why would I not do that?

Yep. Yep. I don't have a reason. Why would I not do that? So because I'm that person. I expect to get front row seat. I expect to get v i p I expect to be invited on a podcast with a dope man like you, who has an amazing platform who's doing amazing things in the community, who I dearly love. I I'm expecting that now.

I can say that with confidence now, because I've been the woman in the mirror talking to herself and convincing herself, you are that chick. Like I was, I was on, I was on my issa ray type stuff, you know? I was letting myself know, no, you got it. You are gonna do, yes you are. You're gonna do it. You can.

Right. So that's how we can expect it. But if you're not sewing, if you're not sewing into people, and if you're not sewing into greatness, you shouldn't expect [00:33:00] it. Yep.

Chastin J. Miles: And one other thing about the expectancy is that you have to truly believe it. You have to truly believe it. It can't just be a novelty.

Like it can't, it would be nice to have, like you have to truly believe for yourself. Exactly. Yeah. For yourself. You do. And I'll tell you this. I know personally, it relieves a lot of stress in life. I mean, running business, having a following, doing what I do, I don't,

Nwayne Davis: I I know God's in your life. 'cause I don't know how you would do it.

I really don't. It brings a lot of stress, you know, I imagine

Chastin J. Miles: and a lot of bad things happen that nobody would even know about. Um, you're not posting that. Exactly. Um, but you're going through it. I don't even share some stuff, but I'm going through it. You are. But look, it doesn't break me because mm-hmm. I know in my heart of hearts, mind of minds in this whole world.

Say it. Say it. I am going to be successful. I am successful now. I'm gonna have everything that I ever [00:34:00] want. You will, sir, in this life you

Nwayne Davis: will. And so you will. Anything It's already been

Chastin J. Miles: written. Yes. Done. And so anything that like comes up against me or tries to throw me off or anything like that, I know that that's just part of

Nwayne Davis: getting to where I'm trying to be.

We already talked about that. It's sharpening you. Yes. Yeah. And I know that preparing

Chastin J. Miles: it's temporary as well. Yes, it is. I know that it's extremely passed, temporary. Agreed. So it doesn't, it doesn't make me contemplate my decisions anymore. It doesn't make me contemplate life. I, I know that like, okay, well it's gonna be solved.

I don't know how, I don't know when it's

Nwayne Davis: gonna be solved. And can I give you another way to look at it? And hopefully your listeners, of course, another way to look at it when we face difficulty, God if, how can I say it? When we face difficulty, if you are constantly just keeping your focus on the difficulty, then that is all you will see.

Mm-hmm. But if you are looking for the beauty in the ashes, I promise you'll find it. [00:35:00] Case in point, Bella, I had a flat tire. Now I drive a car that in my mind, I should not have a flat tire. But who are you? Everybody has flat tires, but in my mind I felt like I shouldn't have to have a flat tire. Right. So this was one of those life events that let me know you, you about to have a flat tire.

So I have a flat tire. I'm, it's, it's, it's an inconvenience. I'm annoyed. I got stuff to do. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm brunching. You know what I mean? I, I'm kidding. Yeah. But I really had some things I needed to do that day and I was working and, um, flat tire. I waited, it felt like two hours for the people to come help.

No worries. I worked, thankfully I was able to work from my car. Mm-hmm. The gentleman who came to help me, That was a whole divine appointment. Mm. And I knew in that moment, baby girl, chill. You were, he, you were still able to do your job. So there was nothing lost. You were in your [00:36:00] car at a, you know, on the side of the gas station road.

But it's okay because the point God needed you to meet this young man. Mm. Because what he had to say to him needed to come through you at this moment in his life on this day. Wow. If you see life, let me say it this way. I see myself as a servant. And if you see yourself as a servant, and if you, if you find opportunities to be a blessing to other people, even in the hardship, even in the shit, how do you know that that hardship is not what led you here?

And I will say, I have stories I won't share now, um, where it was extremely difficult, very, very, very hard gut wrenching, like you got sucker punched and that event or that situation led me to something phenomenal. So yeah, we can't, we can't, we can't get, we can't get [00:37:00] caught up in the thorns on a rose. We can't get caught up, you know, and miss the forest for the trees.

We

Chastin J. Miles: can't. Yep. And one thing that I can say is if I hadn't gone through some of the stuff that I did before, there is no way in the world I would be able to handle what's going on now. No sir. No sir. There is no

Nwayne Davis: way. Lemme tell you something my sister says often, and it's so smart and it opened up a world of creativity and knowledge for me when she said it.

So, when I was recently promoted on my job, She said to me, she says, I said, oh, you know, I'm just kind of telling her about my plan and you know what I wanna do and, and, and all of this goodness. And she says, I want you to understand, and I thought this was wisdom. I'm gonna share it with you. She says, I want you to understand that when a student graduates from the eighth grade to the ninth grade, [00:38:00] they don't go to ninth grade to learn ninth grade stuff.

They're in the ninth grade. Mm-hmm. If you're here, you've already done the work required to be here where you are right now, brother. It's preparing you for where you're going. Stop it.

Chastin J. Miles: You about to understand, you've about,

Nwayne Davis: oh my God, hey, I can't even take credit because my sister said it to me and it opened up my mind.

She said, stop thinking like a vp. You are already, you made VP because you already had VP in you. What you're going through now is preparing you for the next level. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't either. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't not either. Oh my God. Is that not wisdom that, oh, that'll free you, bro.

It frees you. Y'all we're not working for where we are. We already made it. We're here. We're trying to go there. So what we have and what we're doing now is taking us where we're going. So that's why the prep seems hard because you're embarking on something you've never embarked on. That's why I,

Chastin J. Miles: I don't know if y'all listening or watching this video right now.

Listen, but if you [00:39:00] did not receive what was just said, okay, like this is literally a chasing J Miles. Having a moment right now. Please this.

Nwayne Davis: I'm so grateful to God. 'cause that's how I reacted when she said it to me. Whoa. And I was like, whoa. You're right. Uh,

Chastin J. Miles: that's why that will forever stick with me. So don't be surprised if y'all see that in a future video.

It's recorded

Nwayne Davis: because, so we'll have it forever.

Chastin J. Miles: That's going deep in the, in the encyclopedia in my brain.

Nwayne Davis: That is. Wow. And I wish I could take credit, but I can't. I gotta give it to my lovely sister, NOI sister.

Chastin J. Miles: We love you. Thank you. We love you Nani sister. So, something I wanna ask you, because I know that there's people listening and watching and are probably sitting there thinking, yeah, this all sounds great, and I'm happy for y'all.

Yes. How can I get there too? Yes, I get it. How did your journey go? Just getting control of your mind and thoughts and

Nwayne Davis: discovery. Yeah. So we'll have to [00:40:00] come back for a show to talk about all how I even got everything. Okay. Because it, it's. Yeah. Okay. It's, we'll have to put a, you have to put a, you know, 17 and up.

Yeah. Disclaimer on that. Um, but at any rate, what I will say is it did start with therapy. It did. Um, I came from a very abused, uh, broken wooey. It's, it's not good. And obviously a very, very difficult marriage that ended in divorce. And I thought, okay, I'm going to church. I'm praying. I'm to your point, I'm, I'm doing what I know to do and I'm still plagued with the thoughts and my life and, you know, it's, it's still not going the way I needed to go.

And I did two things, and I don't wanna sound cliche-ish, but I got on my knees and I prayed and I, and I cried and I said, God, if you don't help me, I, it's over. Mm-hmm. If you don't help me, [00:41:00] Get out of what I know and unlearn all of the crap I've learned through my life. And if you don't heal me from all of the pain, I'm done.

You know, and not a, not a give up my life type. Done. Just, I'm not gonna be anything. Because everything that has happened to me up until that point, not everything but my life was it, I I was not dealt a fair hand. Yeah. I was born into some crazy, yeah. And I decided to go to therapy at a time that people were like, therapy, you don't need therapy.

What? Why are you gonna therapy? I mean that's, you know, I mean, you can talk to the pastor. Mm-hmm. Call him, you know, he'll talk to you. Um, and I started therapy and I've been on a therapy journey for five years, I guess. And that has absolutely changed my life, obviously along with God and, and prayer every morning.

Not perfect. But man, this life is hard. And I don't know how you're making it without [00:42:00] God. I don't know how you're making it without, when I say therapy or someone that you can, and I'm not talking about girlfriends and, and, 'cause we can't just call them every day and vomit on them. You know, pay somebody if the professionals to iron out some of this because we can talk through it.

But if you call me up and say, Hey, Nani, you know, I just, I'm trying to dye my hair and I like the blonde you had. How did you get it? And I'd be like, now Chase, now this, my hair has fallen out 17 times. You know, you know what I mean? You may not want to ask me, but, so we can kind of talk and hash out and, and, and swap hair dye stories.

But if you really want it done right, I'm gonna refer you to a professional.

Chastin J. Miles: Yep. I'm, I'm so glad that you say that. And that parallels with a previous episode. Um, we recently had Sharia Gonzalez on on the show. Mm-hmm. And she was sharing how. You know, she grew up drugs all around. Um, she's been trafficked [00:43:00] most of her, her life.

Mm-hmm. She's been on her own. Mm-hmm. And, you know, she talked about her faith and she talked about like, she's thinking this in her mind, but this is what was going on in her. Oh, absolutely. Reality. Absolutely. You know, and she shared some, some stories with, um, with us, but she also said that she reached out and it was always someone else to, you know, kind of show the way or show the, the other option.

Mm-hmm. And I tell people that all the time because especially us as entrepreneurs, we try to do everything ourselves. Like we gotta figure out. And many times you have to. Yeah. To be fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But, but

Nwayne Davis: when there is entrepreneurs are like single parents.

Chastin J. Miles: Yeah. But even for me, when there is help available, and I learned my lesson on this, like.

Don't be too proud to ask for help. Don't like, don't be too proud to please ask for help. Please. You are suffering more than you need to. And [00:44:00] even going back to manifestation, you may want some things and that help is presenting itself in front of you, left and right, whether it's an ad, whether it's a conversation.

You could be listening to this conversation. You could right now, and we're telling you this is the signal. Like this is the signal.

Nwayne Davis: Here's here. I love that you say that because think about this. I knew you had a podcast for as long as I've known it. Mm-hmm. Right? I've known you, I don't know when you started your podcast, but I know how long we've known each other, which has been a few years.

Mm-hmm. And I know you've had a podcast. To your point, I could've come up and said, put me on. Yeah, put me on that podcast. I got something to say. Right? One, I wasn't even ready. There was still more God had to do in me. There was still a little more Ooh, hardness. He had to, he had to, he had to get that heart right.

I was still a little bit, I was upset at a couple people still, and he had to work that out. Um, so I wasn't ready at the time. Of course, if you would've given me the opportunity, [00:45:00] I would've taken it and you would've got ready. Oh baby. Understand. We'd have come out here, we'd have faked it all. I said, put a prompter right there.

Lemme say that. Yeah. But, um, so my point is, you know, our, our, our, our, our journeys are what they are. Um, but you've gotta understand that. And, and I don't wanna keep bringing up Bible scriptures and everything I say. I want, you know, some people aren't Christian, some people don't read the Bible, so I don't, but what I am trying to say is we do need to understand how to be a bound in a base.

We have to learn how to have and not have. We have to learn how to give and receive. So all of those things are important regardless of your religious faith or if you're have a religious faith or not. As human beings on this planet, I need to know how to give and receive. And sometimes that's hard for us, and pride and ego kind of gets in the way and it's, well, what if I ask and they say no?

Or what if, you know, I, I'm looking kind of needy or, you [00:46:00] know, my, my, one of my biggest insecure is that I struggled with getting over is, is people thinking I'm weak. Mm. Because all my life, you know, not all my life, that's an exaggeration. But most of my life, my childhood life, some of my adult life, I wasn't protected.

Yeah. And so having been abused, obviously sexually abused and raped mm-hmm. Um, as a child and not being able to have food and me and my sister borrowing food, you know, from people and, you know, just growing up like that, you know? Yeah. You just, you, you kind of, you get to a place where you're thinking, who, who, who is there?

Right. Who will be there? Who, who can I trust? Who, because if I reach out, are they wanting me? If, if I reach out, if they help me, are they helping me? Because there's something tied to it, which was always my case, which is what stopped me from reaching out because I thought if I ask [00:47:00] you, you're gonna want something in return, because everybody did.

You weren't. So that's what hindered me. Um, but I do know now, no, you gotta reach out because people love you and if they love you, reach out to those people first.

Chastin J. Miles: Of course, of course. People that love you. Course. But I wanna, I wanna go into that. I, I wanna go into that. Let's do it deeper because. We're, we're, we're all embedded with stuff from childhood traumas, of course philosophies, thought patterns.

Mm-hmm. And that was a little difficult for even me to break. I grew up, which let me start by saying, I did not think at any time growing up that I had a bad childhood, that I was disadvantaged or anything like that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It was, it was all I knew because it was normal. It was, it was, it was normal.

Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Um, but as I reflect back on the path that I was going down, well, I wasn't making [00:48:00] good grades. Ooh. I had got put outta school. I had to go live with one aunt that wasn't working out. Oh boy. Um, parents got a divorce. Ended up finding out that the father who I grew up with, It was actually my stepfather.

Okay. And then when they divorced, I have a similar story. He didn't really wanna, yeah. I mean, yeah. He didn't really wanna do divorced. You too do, yes, I got divorced too. Absolutely understand. Then my understand biological father finding out he's been in prison all my life now, trying to talk and write

Nwayne Davis: letters and, and even get to know someone who I didn't even know exactly.

How do I do that as a child or as a young person. Exactly. I don't know how

Chastin J. Miles: old you were, but Well, yeah. I was like, I was young, adolescent age and oh boy. And even with all of that happening, there was never like a. Oh, this is my life and I hate my life. And, and can't believe is your, I'm going through, oh, this is your life.

What you knew.

Nwayne Davis: Yeah. I didn't think anything bad of it. And what did you have to compare it to?

Chastin J. Miles: I didn't have anything else to compare it to. [00:49:00] Right, right. And it wasn't until, because obviously my, my mom and the rest of my family could see the, the road that I was going down. Sure. And so, which

Nwayne Davis: to be fair is conducive with the life you grew up in.

Exactly. So you were on the trajectory Yeah. Of that life.

Chastin J. Miles: Me and my two brothers. Yeah. Sharing a room. Yeah. So it's, three of us shared a room. No, didn't we? In a two bedroom apartment? Like no heat, but Exactly. But I didn't think nothing of it. We didn't have a computer. I mean, literally No, literally. No. We had to go to the library to go use the computer to do our, and then my mom bought a typewriter.

Ooh Lord. When that typewriter came, we, you know, we was big time then.

Nwayne Davis: Ooh. When I first got my typewriter, and Lemme tell you something, baby, lemme tell you something, man. My, my dad who, who raised me, may he rest in peace. He wasn't my biological father, but he was the first person to buy me an electric typewriter.

Yes. Oh, you couldn't tell me nothing. Right, right. It was like having a new iPhone. Yeah,

Chastin J. Miles: exactly. And, and so, um, you know, obviously I wasn't in school with Yep. Kids who had other stuff. Mm-hmm. Or mm-hmm. [00:50:00] Everything was in reach for our level of thinking. And then it wasn't until I ended up moving with my aunt in Georgia.

Okay. So her job transferred her to Georgia and then all of a sudden I was moving. But I was cool with that because she was the cool aunt and,

Nwayne Davis: and you kind of wanted to leave all this mess anyway. Yeah, yeah. Like, let's just find something new.

Chastin J. Miles: Yeah. Now that move was a total 180.

Nwayne Davis: Was it transformative for

Chastin J. Miles: you?

Well, it was, but it was uncomfortable at the beginning. I believe that because it wasn't like nothing

Nwayne Davis: I ever seen. There was no dysfunction

Chastin J. Miles: there. Exactly. Like, like I was, I was, you know, seeing big houses and, and. Fancy people and this and that, you know, and I was even a little insecure about it. Mm-hmm. Um, so take my high school, for example.

Okay. Okay.

Nwayne Davis: Um, now are you in high school in Georgia,

Chastin J. Miles: or was Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so, so I moved to [00:51:00] Georgia and I was starting high school. Okay. My high school was, let's just say very diverse. Right. Great, great. It's great Uhoh. But see, I wasn't coming from

Nwayne Davis: very diverse. Understand. Come on, Nani. Listen.

Chastin J. Miles: And what I was coming from was a lot of negative chatter about other races.

Ah. You know, and it was kind of like,

Nwayne Davis: oh, I can't, and these weren't your beliefs, it's just what I've heard. So it's just, and it's what I've heard all my life, like, so I guess I need to just follow suit, like, exactly

Chastin J. Miles: like, oh, uh, steer clear, can't trust them. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uhuh, you can't, you know? Yes, I agree.

And so there were so many things that were just like, What is happening right now? Yeah. I told you the other day, and I'm gonna say it again, that was one of the best things that could have happened to me. I believe that, because that sent me on a whole new path in, in life. But there was, even to this day, there was a lot of embedded programming Yes.

That I've had to [00:52:00] rewire mm-hmm. Overcome and, and really think about where that came from. Why is that? Like, that's been, and is

Nwayne Davis: there any truth to that? Is there any truth? Is that were, were they projecting? Is, is, you know, were they just saying what they feel? All of that, um,

Chastin J. Miles: ah, wow. It really affected me in business where like I had to start to reassociate certain actions to what was going on.

Like, is this person doing this because they're racist or because I'm really not qualified? Mm. Or you know, like I, I smart. I had to start thinking that way. And I'm so glad that I started thinking that, that way because I'm too, if I hadn't, I would've written everybody off and I wouldn't be half where I am today.

Nwayne Davis: Chasten, not only would you not be, but nor would you have the success that you're having because the success that you're having, my friend, that success is gonna come from all types of people. Mm-hmm. [00:53:00] Mm-hmm. And when we get to a place, we, generally speaking, but certainly as an entrepreneur, when you get to the place where you understand one, who your, who, your audience, or who your clients are, but two baby money is green.

Yeah. We going where the money reside. We're not trying to, we, I don't care if you're white, black, male, female, Asian, Indian, doesn't matter. Yeah. I'm here to sell a home and I'm gonna give you the best service you've ever received in your life. Yeah. And you will come back 'cause this is the best that there ever is and was.

So when you operate in that vein and it only made sense, it, now that I know your story, it only made sense that God would have, would start you out there first and then take you through this growth. Yeah. Really is what it is. You gotta grow to be in an environment where you're not comfortable or that you're not used to, or that is different from you and thrive.

Yep. And that is exactly what you did. Yep. And that's where success is.

Chastin J. Miles: And it goes even [00:54:00] deeper. Um, you know, and luckily I'm, I'm very conscious and aware of these signals nowadays, but it goes even deeper to things that you wouldn't necessarily associate. I mean associate that are like embedded Sure.

Thoughts and philosophies like yes. Don't speak up. Yeah. Don't mm-hmm. Don't say anything opposite. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Of, you know what you're being told to do. Don't question. No, don't ask. Why Go with the flow. Like Yeah. Go with the flow. Yeah. Sit in, sit down, be quiet. Mm-hmm. Right. Be that chair. Or if you don't have as much money as someone else mm-hmm.

Then your thoughts and opinions don't matter. They're not as valuable.

Nwayne Davis: It's not as valuable. Or what about this one? You don't, you're not above a high school diploma. You don't, you don't, don't have a, a, a college degree. So we don't really have a lot to say to you. Yeah. Or, or you don't have a lot to contribute.

To me, [00:55:00] it's unfortunate.

Chastin J. Miles: Yep. And I'll tell you when it really showed up for me, um, here recently, well, it was probably like three years or three, four years ago, but I got asked to be on the, um, the external advisory board for the Dallas Mavericks. Yes. And. I was super excited about it. Yes. When, when, when it was going down.

And then I looked at the roster of all the other people on there. Okay. There, police chiefs, superintendents. Mm-hmm. Big, multimillion dollar CEOs. Yeah. Uh, I mean, huge people here in the city of

Nwayne Davis: Dallas. Sure. That's, and you're thinking, I don't, what am I doing on this? Don't in this group. Group. I don't belong here.

Oh, I, the lies we tell ourselves. I'm not at that level. Like, oh my gosh. So you had an imposter syndrome? Oh, real

Chastin J. Miles: quick. For literally the whole first season. Really? I probably didn't say anything. 'cause I was like,

Nwayne Davis: I, I never would've believed that. [00:56:00] Never would've believed that. And

Chastin J. Miles: you know, I've, I've had a couple conversations about this because oftentimes I'm always looking kind of at the next step up, like, oh, I want be like them.

Mm-hmm. I wanna be like them. Yes. But I failed to look. At where I've

Nwayne Davis: come from. Right. Every now and again, I, we need to do that. Exactly. Every now and again, we need to look back.

Chastin J. Miles: So I, I wasn't placing that value on myself. Mm-hmm. Like, oh, I've worked hard. Yes. I just, you know, I have value. I can speak. Yes. I was like, man, I can't compare to these other people.

Why am I even

Nwayne Davis: here? And it goes back to what I said, chasten one, not only were you chosen, they already decided that you mm-hmm. Belonged there. But it goes back to what we talked about earlier, that my sister said you were there. Mm-hmm. So, so the fact that you were a, you were on that committee, you had everything they needed.

Yeah. So when we tell ourselves, God help us, when we tell ourselves these [00:57:00] lies that we're not good enough, or we're not tall enough, or we're not short enough, or thin enough, or whatever, it's all a lie. It's just a lie to keep you. Rooted and grounded in either the dysfunction or the bondage that you're in to just nothing mediocrity or keeping it the same.

Right. And I'm, listen, I am, I will never, hopefully, ever say anything That sounds like, I mean, your life is great if it's here. If it's here. Mm-hmm. I think I made that clear earlier when we were talking. It's what success is to you. Exactly. Yeah. Now, if success is to you, you got your babies and you got your country husband, and y'all got y'all's farmland, and y'all are growing vegetables and doing it great.

Hey, that's success sweetheart. You are winning. Yep. But if you want more, starts here. Yep.

Chastin J. Miles: And I'll tell y'all success to me, stop being about money a while ago. Oh, if you're

Nwayne Davis: chasing money, baby, go ahead. Mm-hmm. That's not, that's, that's not, I [00:58:00] know the Bible says money answers all things, and I do have a lot of questions that I needed to answer.

I will say we can't chase money. Yep. Don't chase money. Oh my God. If you can, I heard someone say, um, figure out, no, how did she say it? She said, whatever you love to do, figure out how to make money at it. And I can say who it is, but I don't wanna, you know. Yeah. She's famous, so I wanna Problems. Yeah. But, um, I'll never forget that she said that.

She said, whatever you love to do, figure out how to make money at it. And then because we, and, and this is kind of cliches, but we've always said it. If you're willing to do it for free, you love it. Yep. What we're doing right now, I would do for free. Well, I said, I said that, I said that loud. May have to edit that out.

I'm not willing to do it for free. Free, but not

Chastin J. Miles: free. Free. Not free. Free. But free enough. But

Nwayne Davis: free. Yeah. I'll do a favor to a friend. Yeah. Um, but seriously, no lies. I do this for free, bro. I would talk and, [00:59:00] and help people and get people to their next level and get them, get them out of the bondage because I was so bound for so long from being victimized and abused and lied to and beaten and just all kind of crap.

I so get it. And shame on me if I get free and don't tell you how to get free. Mm. And don't share with the world how they may be able to get free, you know, or what worked for me and what may work for them. No shame on you if you made it out and you're not reaching back to help others. And so that's what this is for me.

Chastin J. Miles: So when it comes to that, when it comes to helping other people, do you feel credible enough? Credible enough to, to share wisdom, share instruction? Share? Yes.

Nwayne Davis: Okay. Yes. I would say yes. I have lived it. I am. I don't mind sharing my story. Um, I [01:00:00] don't mind talking about the mistakes, the things I did because of my environment, um, and how I got out and how I got free.

I'm not saying I don't cry. I'm not saying things. When I think about, I mean this, there's only one or two things, you know, that I may just drop, start crying right now about. And usually it's the goodness of God and how he brought me out. And there may be one or two things that's that's going on in my life, but man, I I, I've lived it.

Mm-hmm. I've lived it. And I do have expertise, if you will. I say that loosely, I shouldn't say expertise, that's not fair, but I have life experience. Say it like that. Mm-hmm. That qualifies me to be able to help people because I've been her. Yeah. I've been her. And when I say her, I've been a lot of hers.

Yeah. I've been angry. Frustrated, beaten, broken. You know, when I was thinking about what, how I wanted to brand the [01:01:00] podcast, um, that I am helping to decide, wait, what? What?

Chastin J. Miles: Hold

Nwayne Davis: No, no, no, no. I just got in there, but I Oh, so, so, so I've been green lit to, is it green lit or greenlighted?

Chastin J. Miles: All of it. What's the production name?

Whatever it is. We know what it mean. I, I got the

Nwayne Davis: green light. Yeah, that's what I got. The green light. And so I am going to start a podcast and it's going to be dope and it is necessary. Details, bro. Mm. Necessary details. Is that, is that the name of it? That's the name of it. Necessary. That's what I settled on.

And you know, one of the producers came to me and said, well, that's your initials, NOI Davis. Oh. And I was like, oh my God. So it was one of those moments, yeah. Where I was like, okay, this is meant to be, Um, I don't know why

Chastin J. Miles: I'm tearing up over here. Just,

Nwayne Davis: I, I, listen. Listen. Okay, cha. Alright. I am trying my best because I wanted to come on here and I [01:02:00] told you I would be me, but I wanna be able to talk and not fall out.

Yeah. But when I tell, and I don't even know where we were going, I don't, I don't know where we were going. Yeah. Because now I just got to thinking about, I just said it. Mm. I just said it just now, it's real. I said it just now and you, this whole moment is amazing and wonderful and it goes right back to what we were talking about.

Excuse me, in that manifestation number one, speaking it into existence. Mm-hmm. Number two, I don't know if we got here, but opening opportunities for other people. Mm-hmm. And I alluded to it a little bit earlier, but what I wanna say is there was a gentleman who I helped. Get in a door that he needed to get in.

Okay, let me say it like that. No, no, no, no attachment here. Yeah. I don't benefit from that at all. It didn't matter. And not, I think [01:03:00] that same week, that weekend is when I saw you and you said, would you be willing to come on? And I thought, what? And this is the time Chaston. Yeah. This is the time and the time is now and it's gonna be real good.

And I was telling David earlier, I don't know where it's gonna go. Mm-hmm. I'm just gonna enjoy the ride. But no, we will always be able to say it started here. Yeah. Right here on this couch. That's

Chastin J. Miles: so, man, man.

Nwayne Davis: Yeah. Right here, right now

Chastin J. Miles: bro. And I want to sit in this moment, but there's something like, I really want to ask that.

Please. You can ask me anything. Kind of kind of going back to what we were talking about. Yeah. Before, um, you mentioned earlier in the podcast, you're a mother. Yes. You, you, you, you support a lot of people. You have a great network. You, um, are very well at your job. And look, y'all, she got a real, real good job.

I know she not saying it, but she got a real, real good job.

Nwayne Davis: I work for an [01:04:00] amazing organization.

Chastin J. Miles: She got a real, real, real, real good job. I got real good job. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, with that being the case, yes. Because I parallel that with even me and similar others in, in, in my position, you know? Yes. With employees and payroll and clients and um mm-hmm.

Following mentees, all that, like there's a bunch of people that we have to support. Support, yes. How or what's your thoughts? I'm not even gonna ask for advice. Okay. Because we may be at the same place with this. Okay. How do you feel or how do you think about needing to be strong for others? Yes. When you're really feeling like you don't know your next move.

All right.

Nwayne Davis: So I I'm a, I'm a I'm gonna always give it to you real. I don't know no other way. 'cause trying to make [01:05:00] up stuff and be fake is too much work and I forget what I said. Yeah. So let me just be real. Yeah. Um,

I don't know that I'm great at it yet. Mm. Because I'm still working through, I am the type of person that, man, I've, I, I have to tell you this off, off camera, but I, I have been in that moment at my lowest and someone called in need and, and I showed up. And I think the reason why I say I'm not great at it is because I will be whatever my network needs whenever they need it.

And then I crash, you know? And then I go, oh my God, I gotta have a day or two. And then I, and then I just have to kind of shut the world off. So I'm not suggesting that people do it that way. I think that managing expectations and where I'm going with this story is, that's where I'm learning now is, you know, obviously you have to own your, no, just [01:06:00] like you own your yeses, but I'm learning now to just pace myself.

And I'm learning now to just simply say, listen, if I, if I can't, I can't. And I just have to say that. Um, but it's never a situation where I can't, if it's, if it's, if, if I can be there for you, I will, my network knows I'm gonna always be there. It may not be in the way that you want, right? Because you may say, Nani, I need you to listen to me right now.

I'm going through something right. Well, I'm a, I'm on, I'm on my way into the podcast. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm kidding. I would absolutely be there. But it's one of those situations where you really just have to balance out is this v i p, is this very important? Is this a life changing moment or can this wait?

Mm-hmm. And when people are in situations, it's a, this can't wait for them. Right. But is it really an emergency for you? And you have to be able to determine that for yourself and balance that out. Yeah. Because [01:07:00] as you know, our families and friends, well if they're coming to us, it's a fire. Yeah. Right. But it may not really be true.

They may can wait.

Chastin J. Miles: I think the way that I've unfortunately went down those roads mm-hmm. Is taking on the burden. Yes. As if it's my own. Yes. I've made that mistake in a sense of like, there are certain people in my life that I never want to say no to. Oh gosh, no. And even if I'm not in a position to do.

What they need at that time. Mm-hmm. I'm still gonna say yes and possibly place myself in a very uncomfortable situation. I've done it often. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just to make sure they're taken care of.

Nwayne Davis: Do you know why we do that, Jason? Why is it we do that? You, you find that a lot in people who have childhood trauma or abuse.

Mm. Because we become, it's, it's, I don't wanna label [01:08:00] this, so let me be, let me just talk for myself. But there are similarities in, in, in you and I, but I'll speak for myself. I learned that somehow people, children or, or adults who have childhood abuse and they've survived that we almost become, oh, I hate to say it like this, but, but some of us tend to become paralyzed to being needed.

Mm. So when. We give off this energy. We talked about that earlier in the, in the podcast. We give off this energy and, and it could be that we are good helpers and we are great project managers, if you will. And we can multitask, obviously you can. Mm-hmm. Um, and so we, we kind of make this name for ourselves and our families or friend groups that we We got it.

We'll do it. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I think it's important to let your network know that you are there for them [01:09:00] and for many of us, our network knows that. Mm-hmm. But it's also important to be able to say, I, I can't today. Yeah. You know, because the real stuff, the real stuff, you are gonna be there for the stuff that can, it really can wait till Saturday.

I'm gonna hit you up Saturday morning. Yeah. And that's what I've started to do even in my friend groups. Um, and even if it's a, Hey girl, call me at eight. I've gotten those calls in because I want my network to know that I love them and that I am here for 'em and that all that I'm doing right now, although it's taking up more time than normal, I haven't forgotten them.

And who's with me on my journey and the people I'm gonna call when I leave outta here screaming and yelling. Yeah. You know, I, those people, they, they got me whenever they want me, but I had to get some of them to a place of respecting boundaries and understanding that it, if, if I can't do it right now, doesn't mean it's kind of like [01:10:00] when God says, I'm not, it's not a no.

It's, it's a delay. It's not a denial. No. Not come when you want it, but yeah. Be there right on time. I'm not gonna do it right now. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm, I'm gonna get to you. Yeah. Um, but I think understanding boundaries and learning what your journey is and making sure that you don't get too off course with somebody else's stuff.

That's

Chastin J. Miles: important. Have you faced adversity with that, setting those boundaries?

Nwayne Davis: I have. I have. I, I have, I have had family members not talk to me. Um, you know, I've had friends overstep boundaries. I've had relationships. I've had to end relationships of 30, 40 years that, well, no, let's see. Not 40, 'cause I'm not that old, but, you know, 2030, let's go to 2030.

Okay. Go. 2030 is go. Yeah. I, I mean, I have, and it was tough and it was hard for me because I didn't grow up with boundaries. Mm-hmm. I didn't know what boundaries were. Right. I just let people just run off, just do whatever they wanted, do, say whatever they wanted to say, vomit their emotions on me. [01:11:00] And I just took it because I was labeled the strong one.

It's not that I'm stronger than anyone else, or stronger than the rest of my family or friends, it's just, I take it all to God. I take it to him and I say, God, this is, look at this. This is heavy. I take it to him. It's not that I'm so strong, it's just he, he's carrying this burden with those

Chastin J. Miles: people specifically.

Do you or how do you take the Oh, she this and that now, or she not, oh, you done forgot where you came from because you're, you're very successful. And I've, I've gotten those types of comments mm-hmm. And, and remarks from people. I

Nwayne Davis: have, I have, I have, uh, I will tell you, um, someone said to me that, um, how can I say it without putting them all West?

Saying what they, well, they'll know they [01:12:00] said it. Nobody else will know. They said it. But I don't even wanna put them out there like that, even though they'll know. Um, I'm careful about that too. But I will say, 'cause they, they, they said it out of their pain. I get that. You know what I mean? At the time I was upset, I was hurt, but, but I understood.

They set it out of pain. And when you're in pain, ah, you know, hurting people, hurt people. So I understood that. But anyway, what the comment was is you are now at a level where what you went through in your life, you're living your life is good. You living good, you driving good, you eating good, you brunching every day, you know?

Mm-hmm. So you must, you, you should be okay. And what I needed to explain to them was the pain is still the pain baby. It's still hurtful. Um, my success, and I don't even, I don't even call it that. I don't, 'cause like you said, I feel like I'm, I'm. The, like, this is the first day of the rest of my life, right?

Mm-hmm. Yes. So I, I feel like I am just now building seriously because I've [01:13:00] been working for people my entire life and doing everything they wanted me to do and doing it the way they thought I should do it. And even though I work for a corporation, thank God, thank you for the people that, that I work for, because they do let me show up Yeah.

As myself, be you. And they let me be me. And they, they, they let me handle what I need to handle in the way that I know makes sense for my style, and that also fits within the rules and regulations of my organization. Mm-hmm. Fair. That's a sweet spot you gotta find. And, and thankfully we found it. Um, but for me, I,

Chastin J. Miles: yeah,

Nwayne Davis: I get it.

It's, yeah. How can I say this? She, so basically the comment was, I shouldn't. Let's minimize what I've gone through because now I'm doing well. Mm-hmm. There's, there, there's where I'm, that's where I'm trying to go. Yeah. Oh my God. And I'm trying to say it, you know, I'm trying to keep it pg and that's, that's [01:14:00] essentially what was said, and I thought, nobody paid me for my story yet.

I mean, they probably will when they, if they ever hear it, it's going to be a blockbuster movie because my life is incredible, but nobody's paid me for a movie. I'm working, I'm, I'm making money based on my job and what I do. Right. But when you get that kinda, it can't be that bad because you look how you're living.

How do you think I got here? And not only how did I get here, how am I maintaining this? It's not like I bought the lottery ticket and won the lottery. That's a little different. But in order for me to maintain the life I'm living, I've gotta not only do what I've been doing, but I gotta level up. Yeah. So this isn't a, I'm just chilling now.

Chastin J. Miles: I'll never forget. Someone said to me, you know, when I started sharing my story and you know, just putting more out there. Yeah. They said to me, do you really feel like you have to share that stuff [01:15:00] and say that stuff to become successful? Share

Nwayne Davis: what stuff and say what stuff my

Chastin J. Miles: life. Yeah. Absolutely. What I went through.

Nwayne Davis: Absolutely. You do what you owe it to the world. You know why you owe it to the world Chaston because the world needs to know who you are. Mm-hmm. They don't need to just see you fresh on a podcast. Driving good, eating good, living good. We can, we can, we can watch the b e t awards for that. Yeah. Yeah. I wanna see how did you get here?

How did you make it out of that shit and got here, bro. Yeah. That's the story that has to be told. And you know, I've yet to fully tell mine and I certainly will. I don't have a problem doing that. Um, it's just the appropriate. Platform to do it, but people need to know, like we talked earlier, how do they get out?

Mm-hmm. And, and I say that for the sake of the conversation. I don't wanna say it like, Ooh, we made it out. Mm-hmm. I mean, I, you know, I don't like talking like that. 'cause we still, we're still with our people. Right. We're still here doing what it is we do with [01:16:00] our family and friends. So I don't necessarily wanna, and more than willing to share.

Yeah. And I don't wanna use willing to open use that term. Made it out. I just wanna say, what I like to say is I got free. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's how I like to say it because regardless of where I'm working now and living now, if I were working anywhere else or doing anything else, I would still hope that I'd be free here.

'cause if I'm free here, Then I can, I might, I might be able to change my situation, right?

Chastin J. Miles: I just might. Oh my gosh. Yeah. We've talked about so much everything on this. Everything we done, we done been around the world and, and could do more, right? Yeah. Oh, there's so much more. We can sit here all to uncover.

So just to kind bring it all in. Yes. I'm gonna do this first and then you, you're gonna do it. Yes, sir. Um, I just, I just want to give people one big takeaway from me, and you could share one big takeaway from you, but something just to possibly even [01:17:00] rewind. Listen to again, or, or just make sure you're not leaving this, this episode without, without this in your back pocket, without a

Nwayne Davis: takeaway.

Yes. We've gotta have a takeaway.

Chastin J. Miles: My biggest, biggest thing today was that quote from your sister, my sister, about where you are. Now Uhhuh. Right. And what you're going through. Yes. That's preparing you for the future. Because where you are now, you've, you've already done the work for that obviously. '

Nwayne Davis: cause you're there.

That's not your battle. You don't go to ninth grade to prepare for ninth grade. Yes. You're already in the ninth grade. You're already there. You're preparing for the 10th grade. Come on. If I didn't think she'd charged us, I'd say her name. Kidding. I can't even articulate it. Right. But that was just, but that's what she said.

Well, why didn't listen to that, please. Yeah. Like, hit, subscribe and then rewind. Yes. Got it. What

Chastin J. Miles: about you? What was

Nwayne Davis: your moment? My, my takeaway, oh God, are so many that one, [01:18:00] your, your response to what I said my sister said is, is was mine. Exactly. It was eyeopening. It was mind blowing. And hopefully it's that for your listeners.

Mm-hmm. Um, but my takeaway is what I walked in here with and it was. Keep helping people, keep loving people despite what they say and what they do. God's got it. Mm, God's got it. And man, I'm telling you, walking into this building and I'll tell you later what 1, 1 1 1 means to me. When, when I got the address, it didn't even, it didn't even dawn on me when I pulled up and saw it, I was like, wow.

Anyway, listen, takeaway is exactly that and I appreciate you forever and a day. Yes. Forever and a day. I promise. Thank you. I

Chastin J. Miles: appreciate you for being here. And I wasn't, wasn't [01:19:00] gonna say this, but you brought it up. Please do. My office is in this building and the, and 1, 1, 1, 1 meant something at the time and.

There were some things that I didn't agree with, but I said I need to mm-hmm. Sign this lease. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Just because of that. Yep. And, yep. We love y'all. Listen, thank you d we love you so much. For me here, we have to have a part two. Yeah. Yeah. Because there's

Nwayne Davis: so much, there's so much that we didn't say.

Yeah. There's so much money that we left on this table. We gotta ease everybody. We, we gotta ease them in. They not ready. Okay. Ease them in.

Chastin J. Miles: Thank you, chasten. Thank you. Thank you for listening to the Power Unit Success Cast. If you're excited about what you just experienced, make sure to subscribe. Also, leave us a rating if something you heard resonated with you.

And feel free to share your thoughts about this episode on Instagram. See you next week.[01:20:00]

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From Self-Worth to Success: A Candid Conversation with Nwayne Davis

August 31, 202377 min read

From Self-Worth to Success: A Candid Conversation with Nwayne Davis

Chastin J. Miles: [00:00:00] What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of the Power Unit Success Cast. Super excited about today's episode because I have a near dear friend to me and my family, and I'm super excited because we've been having some conversations recently that have surprised me because her and I have never, well, I don't know your story.

I don't, I don't know what you do. I don't, but, but I'm like, oh, you real, real smart and you real like, so, so I'm super excited and, and I know that this is gonna be valuable. I promise myself that I'm gonna get vulnerable and I'm gonna open up. So wherever this goes, it's gonna go. Love it. But let me introduce you all to Miss Nani Davis here.

I need to know who, who are you? What do you do, Justin?

Nwayne Davis: I, I think, I think the, I think the shorter answer is what don't I do? What don't I do? But, um, yeah. So as you know, as you [00:01:00] introduced me, thank you so much. Let me first say that, um, I've said it privately and I will forever say it publicly. Thank you. Mm, thank you for this moment that I'm having right now.

Thank you for this opportunity, and I'm so, so very proud of you. Uh, who am I? Well, I'm, I'm a mother of two. Um, I'm a career woman. Um, I am passionate about people having a voice because I didn't for so long. Mm-hmm. And so, whether it's in corporate America, whether it's in your family, whether it's, whether it's to yourself in the mirror, you know, We gotta, we gotta have a voice and we gotta make sure we're saying the right kind of stuff.

So I'm an advocate of manifestation and speaking well to people and making sure that when you walk away, you feel good about who you are. Mm-hmm. That's, that's who I am. That's

Chastin J. Miles: it. I love that. Yeah. And I heard you say you're a career woman now. This, this show is mostly entrepreneurs. Mm-hmm. Um, small business owners.

Mm-hmm. People in [00:02:00] real estate and, you know, we're on that other side. Yes. And I constantly get in, I, I wouldn't even say battles, but discussions, debates, discussions on Fair enough. The career side of things. Yeah. So school, career, um, corporate. Mm-hmm. Versus going out on your own. And it seems, you know, my mind works one way, but I can definitely see the other side.

Yeah. How do you feel about entrepreneurship and just. Taking that

Nwayne Davis: big leap. I think that, and I'm glad you a that's a excellent question, and I wish somebody would've asked me that question at 25 30. Mm-hmm. I, I probably would've gotten to my dream a lot faster. Mm-hmm. Um, entrepreneurship in my mind, although I am not a entrepreneur, I've certainly supported people in my family and in my circle who are, but I tend to [00:03:00] think, and this is just how I operate in my life, even though I work for a company, I am an entrepreneur because I am still responsible for my brand.

I am still, and let me just be fair, I'm not claiming that I have a brand today. I feel like you have a brand, to be honest, but in, in my own little circle group, I have a brand, right? Mm-hmm. Um, we all do. And for me, that is exactly what that is. So when I go to work every day, when I come to a podcast, if I mc whatever I'm doing in my life, I'm representing me first.

Um, and so I believe as a career woman, if you're in COT school, wherever you are in life, you have to be owning you. You have to be owning your decision, your job, your life, where you're going. I tell my sons all the time, don't let life happen to it. You have, you don't, don't let life happen to you. You happen to it.

And I, I say it all the time because it's true, because in my heart of hearts, I'm an entrepreneur too. Yeah. [00:04:00]

Chastin J. Miles: Yeah. There was a point in my career where I, I was in an open house. Mm-hmm. I was thinking about my electricity being turned off at home for, to tank a gas in my car. Mm-hmm. And I was sitting here trying to build a business.

Right. I'm sitting in this open house out of that. Yeah. Out of rubble. Exactly. Basically, nobody was coming in and I was just, I got to that point where it was like, What am I doing? Why am I doing this? I can go work somewhere. I feel like I'm a little smart. I can go, you know? You're very smart. Yeah. And, and you know, make it, make it happen.

Yes. And be an asset. But there was something, I don't know, pulling at me to the other side. Right. And it, and it was nothing like that mindset of, oh, I don't want to have a boss and I just wanna, you know, it was, it, it was more so like, I think I just want call the shots, you know? And that's okay. Yeah. But I've never heard or even thought about [00:05:00] like, you are the brand, like you are even, even in a career field.

Absolutely. And now that I think about it, I'm like, yeah, yeah. I mean, I go to events and there's speakers from different companies, like they're building the

Nwayne Davis: brand. That's how, that's how you better see yourself when you walk in that office. Because here's the deal, if you don't see yourself that way, Then they do own you.

Mm, they do. If you don't see yourself that way and you see yourself as an entrepreneur, what that allows you to do is go into that job and give them everything. Give them 110%. Because someone's always watching. Mm-hmm. Someone is always watching. I believe that as well. And you don't know who your next boss is gonna be.

You don't know who's watching now, now, now. Now watch this. I'm at work doing my job that they're paying me to do, and I'm doing it to the best of my ability. And we have an event, we have a women's symposium, and in the women's symposium I [00:06:00] am moderating a panel of entrepreneur women. Little, oddly enough.

Right. And in that moment, yes, I'm working for my organization. Yes, I'm representing them, but I was also representing me. I. In that moment I was an entrepreneur because I was doing something, one that I had never done. And two, something that I thought may take me out of my comfort zone, but it didn't. But still, I was, I was up for the challenge.

And three, it led me here. Hmm. My organization didn't lead me here. You did? Yeah. And, and I'm, and I'm, and when I point to myself, I don't mean me. 'cause I, I never wanna take God out of what is going on in my life. Because honey, he is everything. Yes. And he is, I, I'm, I'm grateful for everything he's done for me.

But what I'm getting at is they saw me. Mm-hmm. You understand what I'm saying? Yep. And so, anytime you're working for anybody doing anything, [00:07:00] whether it is for yourself or it's for an organization or it's for someone else, you're still your brand. Right. And you better represent it the best way you can.

Chastin J. Miles: Right. How comfortable do you feel with. How can I say this? With having a brand or putting, you know, just, just even. How you talk, how you walk, how you look, how comfortable do you feel being expressive while you are under a corporate umbrella? Here's how my apprentice got three real listings from social media, and trust me, she was not a social media expert and very shy in front of the camera.

So she put up a few videos on TikTok just marketing her business, but she wasn't getting a single lead from, well, not a real one, at least, you know, those. Fake leads, they just waste your time or they give you wrong information. That's all that was coming in. So I told her that in order to get real leads, you have to get real information, and the only way to do that is by offering something that we call A D D P.

[00:08:00] So I helped her create an ebook that she can give away for free, and we did it in less than an hour. Really. From there, she created a video and she was giving valuable information, but at the end of the video, she offered people to download that ebook for free. Within the first week, she got tons of downloads, but she got three real listing appointments that converted into listings, and people are still coming in.

So if you are thinking that social media leads are trash, or if you're spending hundreds of dollars a month running ads, that's getting you crap leads, there's a better way. And the good thing about this is that it's extremely duplicatable for any agent and it's all organic. Hit the link and send me a dmm if you want to implement a strategy like this into your business.

Nwayne Davis: So that, that, that takes some talent. Um, sometimes if you are in an organization that is open to diversity and celebrates inclusivity [00:09:00] and authenticity, if you are blessed to be in that baby, yeah, please show up with your pink hair. No hair, blonde hair, however, do the job. Do it. Well, I mean, don't, you know, our, our, my, my, um, our, where I work, uh, our c e o says often she says, don't bring all of it.

Like, give, bring a little bit today. Bring a little bit. You know, don't, don't just walk in with all of you. Um, and we say that jokingly, of course. Yeah. But really, if you're fortunate enough, great. For those people who don't have that, oh man, I, I, I've been there. I've certainly been there, and it's hard. But if you can really, really stay true to who you are, I mean, when you say expressive, we, I express myself through, through how I dress and my hair and my makeup.

All of that is like art to me. But whatever that is for that individual, however they choose to show up, as long as it's respectful and it isn't harming anybody else, you have [00:10:00] to get to a place where you can do that. And if you're working somewhere where you can't, oh boy, we're in trouble. Yeah.

Chastin J. Miles: And that's interesting because even in the real estate industry mm-hmm.

I mean, I get people asking me all the time, um, I have tattoos, you think I can be a realtor? Yes. Or, you know, this and that. And when people see me, you know, and I'm in jeans and a t-shirt. Yeah. It's, it's, it's kind of like, oh, I didn't know that realtors could do that. You know? And it blows my mind, but. I used to think the same

Nwayne Davis: way.

I'm so glad you said that because here's here, here's the, here's the point that I wanna bring home. It's people like you. It's people like me who are going to judge you on your merit and your, your work experience and not the way you look. And if we start opening up opportunities for people based on their ability to do the job well and not based on how they look, then we can kind of disseminate this [00:11:00] whole nonsense about hair and tattoos and, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, seriously. And it's that, that's over. Yeah. That should be

Chastin J. Miles: over by now for sure. And it's unfortunate because, you know, I can tell that appearance takes away confidence for a lot of people. And it did for me, like back when I first started, I had. One suit and Taylor and I didn't even know what that was.

I, I knew what him and pants was. Can we be honest

Nwayne Davis: for just a minute? Can we just act, can we just stop acting like you got that this just happened? Yeah. Seriously. Um, I remember moving to North Carolina. I had my, my, at the time, my three year old, four year old son at the time. And I, they, I got invited to church by my family, had no church clothes 'cause I hadn't been to church, right?

Mm-hmm. I mean, all my stuff, I was like, I can't wear this to church. Um, and I had a lady who just came in one day and, and, and saw me and said, [00:12:00] listen, I wanna help. I'm gonna bless you with some clothes because she obviously saw one or two outfits that I wore. Um, and I will never forget her for that and I appreciate her for that.

But it also in that moment, birthed something inside of me that said, why I gotta be dressed perfectly to come here. I'm not putting that on that church. I'm just saying that was the, that was the mindset though. Mm-hmm. Right. And I don't know, I mean, we can speculate about how that started and where it started, but the reality is when are people ever good enough?

Right? So we can change their clothes and we can change their hair and we can, when, when is this gonna matter? When is this gonna matter? Exactly. Right. And so, yeah. No, it's a hard no for me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not judging you based on what you got on and that's bad or good. I'm not thinking you're all that because you walk in here in Louis V either.

Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Right, right. I'm not thinking you're intelligent because you drive a a [00:13:00] Maybach. Right. I mean, I wanna talk to you and see how you treat the waiter. Yeah. How you treat the doorman. Yeah. 'cause if you're an ass to them, You're an ass to me.

Chastin J. Miles: Yep. Oh my gosh. You can, can I say ass?

Yeah, of course. You can ask any one of my agents, I mean, ev even David mm-hmm. Who's sitting in, in the room. You know, as I, as I've always trained them, I'm like, you'll never put anybody down. No, sir. Like I said, some of your best people are gonna be the, the door people, the mauries, the, the, the woman,

Nwayne Davis: the person that answers the

Chastin J. Miles: phone.

Exactly. I see it. Who's trying to get to you? That's who we're talking to, and that's who we're be befriending. Mm-hmm. Because at the end of the day, for one, those people are way more approachable. Mm-hmm. And you just have a good time with them. And then secondly, they, the ones really making the decisions.

You know, like

Nwayne Davis: some, I have said it a million times, I have said it a million times when I would support CEOs. I'm thinking, I'm the [00:14:00] person. You need to be nice to Exactly. I, I, I cover the calendar and I cover this, and I cover that. Yes. But, but more importantly, I, I, I used to be the one who people overlooked and who people talked down to and made to feel like she was nothing and she wasn't smart enough and she was too loud and she, I was her, so I know what that's like.

Um, I don't think you have to go through hardship to have empathy. I would hope not. But a lot of times that is where it comes from because, you know, so I know what it feels like to, to be shunned. Yeah. So I'm always, you know, I'm always fighting for the underdog.

Chastin J. Miles: Yeah. Always. I've felt for a majority of my career that I was always fighting for something, like always fighting for something, recognition.

Mm-hmm. Appreciation. Mm-hmm. A chance a shot. Mm-hmm. You know, and it's like, when, when does it end? I don't think [00:15:00] it ends, you know, even today I'm fighting for something. Right. Yeah. And, I don't, I don't necessarily know what that's going to lead to. You know? It's, it's just like, when, when do you get to that point where it's like, okay, you finally somebody, because it has an effect on me even personally, because if I feel like I'm fighting Yes.

Right, then I'm not coming off as if I'm winning the battle. Right. Because I still feel like I'm in

Nwayne Davis: the fight. Gotcha. Let me, let me, let me help you with that. Number one, he's winning, so let's stop saying when I'm winning or when I'm going to win, or he is already winning in this moment. Um, funny thing that you would say, I feel like I'm always fighting because, um, I had an event earlier this week, um, that I had to endure that involved court and stuff, and I came home and I was like, oh God.

And I said those exact words and I said, [00:16:00] God, I feel like I'm always fighting. Mm-hmm. I wanna, and, and I, and what I think I hear you saying is, I, I would like to just kind of enjoy mm-hmm. This right now, but I'm always fighting. Here's what I wanna tell you. Here's one thing. I want you to walk away from every battle and every fight you get in, I please want you to know and repeat to yourself and make sure you understand that the fight is fixed.

You win. So if you under, if you go into these battles and, Ooh, baby, I've been in some, if you go through these battles, understanding this fight is fixed anyway. I don't care if, if, if I hit him two times or he hit me 10, I'm walking out with the bag. Mm-hmm. So hit me twice, I'm gonna fall down so I can hurry up and get outta here.

But we win anyway. Yeah. And that's what you gotta know. And so, yes, fighting is a part of what we're doing because you're building, bro. Yeah. You're building. And, and I don't imagine what I know about you that you're ever gonna stop building. I don't see you. Right. [00:17:00] Ever stopping building. Yeah, there's gonna be some battles, but that keeps you sharp.

What, what, what person, you know, in the military, or what fighter do you know, or what fighter pilot do you know that doesn't battle? They, they have to battle to stay sharp. Yeah. Because the war is coming and I don't, and I mean that figuratively, of course. Mm-hmm. But I'm just saying, you're gonna have things that, that you're gonna need to really tackle.

So these little boxes, these little speed bumps. Yeah. We gotta take 'em so that we stay

Chastin J. Miles: sharp. Yeah. And that reminds me of, you know, that saying this comes with the territory. Yes. Yes. Because yes. I mean, if I think about it, yes. Every fight I, I brought it on, you know, I brought it on. Trying to level

Nwayne Davis: up, trying to, and would it be fair to say that you elevated

Chastin J. Miles: after each one?

Yep. Come on. Exactly. Yes. It comes with the territory. Yes, it comes with the territory. Now, speaking of that, so elevating. Mm-hmm. I'm so glad that you mentioned that word, because I heard you earlier say, Manifesting and Yes, [00:18:00] this is, this is one of my areas that I'm just obsessed with. Mm. And I tell this little story.

Oh, I'm so glad. Um, it was last year, so last year I created a vision board, put it in my office, and it was just hanging there on like one of them little cheap poster boards. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Um, but I put all these like ridiculous pictures on their life as you should have stuff that I, you know,

Nwayne Davis: just a helicopter.

Ridiculous stuff. Right, right,

Chastin J. Miles: right. Yeah. Right. Um, And then I had some business partners. They, they had visited my office because I just held an event and they were like, oh, we wanna see your office. So I took them up and they were in my personal office and they saw the, the vision board. So they're just sitting there looking at it.

And then I

Nwayne Davis: looked, and this is the regular, this is the regular vision board. First one you've made. Dollar Tree cardboard, just regular. Exactly. I love

Chastin J. Miles: it. Printed the pictures off of Google Images. It cut out some magazines. Yes, yes. All of it. [00:19:00] The, the, uh, the

Nwayne Davis: glue stick.

Chastin J. Miles: Exactly. Got it. I love it. Exactly. So I did that vision board at the beginning of the year.

This event I had was toward the end of the year. Okay. And so they're sitting there looking at the vision board and they're saying, what's that? What you wanna do with that? What you wanna do with that? And my eyes started to water a little bit. Mm. Right. Because I'm looking at these images. I had like crazy stuff on there.

So like, I had a cover of Black Enterprise Magazine and I cut out my face and put it on there. I had, um, another TV state, so, so like I had the little e logo Okay. On there. I had a Zoom screen filled with people, a theater, this, so then I'm, oh, and then one of 'em, I had a row of houses, you know. Wow. Because then, because in my head I was like, I want, I wanna buy the block.

Do you remember what year this was?

Nwayne Davis: This was

Chastin J. Miles: last year. 2022. 2022. Yes. Yes. I said I wanted to buy the block. So anyways, we're sitting there looking at it and they're asking me, and I'm [00:20:00] getting, yeah. My eyes starting to tear up because I've looked at that black enterprise. I was like, well, I wasn't on the cover, but I was in black enterprise.

You were, you were couple, were couple months ago. Yeah. Yeah. I was looking at the, um, houses on there. Right? The row of houses. The row of houses there. I didn't buy a, a row, a block, a row of houses. A but I looked at that picture. I said, there's four houses in this picture, and how many

Nwayne Davis: does

Chastin J. Miles: he own? Four. Okay, I bought four that baby, come on, keep.

And, and I was just like, oh my gosh. Yes. This actually,

Nwayne Davis: it works. Chaston. I don't know. Let me tell, lemme tell you something, baby. I told a dear friend of mine who she would call me and, and as girlfriends do we call and, you know, we're, you know, griping about whatever. And she's calling me and she's griping about something.

And I said, baby, lemme tell you something. I said, lemme tell you something real quick. Here's what I say. And, and I got accused years ago of, you know, kind of being too [00:21:00] positive and too whatever. Mm-hmm. Listen, it works for me. Right. I said, I really want you to change what you're saying. I understand your reality is A, B, C, and D.

He ain't did this. They didn't do that. She didn't do that. He job, I get it. You're talking anyway. So how about we speak positively and even though we're speaking something that hasn't happened or existed yet, I thought that's what faith was. And faith is those things that are not as though they were, right?

Mm-hmm. We're gonna speak those things that are, are not. So I told her, I said, you are already calling me every week fussing, which I'm really tired of hearing. So how about you call me and instead of us saying all of these negative things, which are your reality, I get it. But let's start speaking. God, thank you for the checks in the mail that I didn't expect.

God, thank you that my children are this, or God thank you that my spouse or my partner or my friend thank you that I'm this. Thank. Just let's, let's go there. Yep, let's go there. And [00:22:00] I'm telling you, I've done it. Chasten, excuse me, I've spoken this into existence this very moment I am living because I spoke it and so many other things I can share with you.

Really, almost my entire life I have been able to just constantly speak that that's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to have. That's what it's going to be. And obviously, at least to line up with the word of God, we're not talking about speaking dumb stuff, but the realness, you better start with your mouth because isn't that where our power is already?

Yeah. Yeah. It starts here. Yeah. I mean obviously it may start in your heart of your mind, but once you let that thing out, baby, you've let it out. Yeah. So you better watch what

Chastin J. Miles: you say. I'm about to peel back the curtain on all this. Yeah. See, look, I'm adjusting myself, please, on the couch, because when I say I go deep with this mm-hmm.

I go real deep because I've seen the, the power and the vision board was just the first kind of like in your face,

Nwayne Davis: it's an act of faith. Right. There ain't nothing wrong with that. [00:23:00]

Chastin J. Miles: Right. And but then when I think back and realize just where I am now Yes. Versus where I was before. Yes. I manifested all of this.

You did. And I didn't. Even you, you know, I was just doing it for play, play back then. Yes, yes. Right. But then, so I started to do a lot of research. I started to really tap in, see how this works. Learn about our brain. Learn about Yes energy. Learn about frequency. Yes, sir. Right? Yes sir. Yes, sir. One thing is nobody can explain how the radios work.

You know, radio's a m fm, they can't, that's, that's, that's not through a satellite. It's not bouncing off of a, so it's, it's, it's at a frequency that people are having a hard time explaining. Now, the radio frequency is not the highest frequency. Right? Yes. Think about this. Our brains, our brains emit energy.

Our voice emit energy. We are energy, we are God, we, [00:24:00] we are filled. With all of it. And so the bi and, and the Bible says all of this. Mm-hmm. It's just been interpreted in so many different, different ways. Yes. However, speak and you shall have what, what, what you

Nwayne Davis: want. You shall have as a man think it. So is he.

Yes.

Chastin J. Miles: Everything conspires. Mm-hmm. To work in your favor. Yes. But that's what's the difficult part about it though. And I, and, and I, I wanna say this on purpose, please. Because most people think that it's just, I wanna get rich. I wanna get rich. Yeah. I wanna get rich. Yeah. Right. But how do most people say, I don't have no money.

I don't have no money. I, I, I don't have this. I don't know how I'm gonna do this. That's emitting the frequency as well. That's putting something out there as well. You can't just say what you want, but then on in the same breath, say what you don't have

Nwayne Davis: right now. All the fives need to listen when a 10 is talking.

Chastin J. Miles: [00:25:00] Yes. And, and thank you wisdom. Thank you. Wisdom. Wisdom. And, and, and it's very important, like, like when we say keep your mind strong. Mm-hmm. It's not just talking about like persevering. Yeah. It's, it's literally talking about keep your mind strong from those thoughts. Yes. Those thoughts can

Nwayne Davis: multiply.

Listen, everything begins with a thought. Yep. Everything. I had a girlfriend call me and she was saying, oh my God, I, and I'm using an example, um, but she was like, you know, I really suck at making chicken. I don't know. Mm-hmm. Whatever she was telling me, she just kept saying, I really suck at it. And I said, have you ever thought that you suck at it?

Because you say you suck at it? And she says, N no, I've never thought that. I've just always sucked at it. I said, but maybe because you say you suck at it. Mm-hmm. Stop saying you suck at it. And if it's something you really wanna learn how to do, you're intelligent. You can learn how to do that. Yeah. We can, we again stop.

Letting life happen to you. You happen to it. Life is gonna happen anyway. [00:26:00] By the grace of God, we're living stuff is gonna happen. You're gonna have that flat tire. You're gonna, you're gonna have life that has nothing to do with anything other than just life. But the that, that we can control. We can control what we meditate on.

Yeah. Thoughts come in our head. Thoughts come in my head all the time that are so stupid. You know? Oh, what if, what if it doesn't work? What if you sound crazy? What if you, you know? And then I just have to rebuke those and keep going. But the stuff we thinking about, the stuff we're letting come out of our mouth, baby.

Yes. You're manifesting all of it. Because this lady here, if you would've told me then, if you would've told me, oh my God. If you'd have told me I was about to try to be all cute and go back five or 10 years, no, no, no. If you'd have told me a couple of years ago, I wouldn't have expected this Now where I was at that time.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. But I began to speak it. Even when I didn't see it, even when I didn't know it was possible. But the more [00:27:00] I spoke it, and I'm saying it, you can fill in it however you want. It can be this podcast, it can be the job. It can be, I mean, I wanted to lose weight. She lost weight. Not just by speaking, but yeah, I eat a little less.

I'm hungry. I'm hungry right now, but I am. I am. I'm losing weight. But my point is I kept saying it until I started to believe it. And yeah, when you first start speaking positively over yourself, especially for those of us who are not used to being spoken positively over who don't even know where to begin, I spoke to a girlfriend this weekend who called me with something similar, and I told her, I said, I want you to go in the bathroom and I want you to.

Look yourself in the mirror and you, you tell her how bad she is and you tell her how smart she is and how brilliant. And she said, that's gonna feel so awkward. I said, I know it will. 'cause the first time I did it, it was awkward. It's like, God, I'm talking to myself. Yeah. But the more you say it, I started to believe it.[00:28:00]

And I would get up in the morning and say stuff like I was, you know, Mary J or something, you know, good morning, gorgeous. And then I started saying how beautiful I was and how wonderful I was, regardless of what other people's ideas were of me, what mattered was what I thought of me. Yeah. And I started to say that until I believed it.

And now you, you can't listen. Mm-hmm. I wish you would try to tell me what I'm not or what I am. Yep. I'm clear about that.

Chastin J. Miles: Yep. I wanna make a point here. This is, this is an example, so follow me with this. Yes. You mentioned that you, you know, thought about being on a podcast, you know, something you thought about mm-hmm.

Years ago. Mm-hmm. Did you reach out to me to be on this podcast? I did not. You did not? No. You did not. We were having a conversation one day we were leaving the concert. We were having a conversation one day and I was like, oh, you gotta be on the podcast. And then just recently here at an event, I was like, we have to make it happen.

And

Nwayne Davis: when you said it the first time, to be fair, I'm gonna be a hundred percent [00:29:00] transparent when you said it the first time, Chaston, I have heard it from so many people, but I was like, ah. Yeah. And it goes back to that mindset. Mm-hmm. You know, people were saying, oh, you'd be great. And I'm like, ah, will I just, my friends?

It's kinda like your friend group who says, yeah, you can sing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then when you go, you know mm-hmm. And sing, you can't. So I was like, I don't really know, but go, go finish your story. I just wanted you to know that. So,

Chastin J. Miles: so she did not ask me. Mm-hmm. I didn't even know she listened to my podcast.

I knew you had a great one. Yeah. She didn't say anything to me. It was just through conversation. But it was something that you knew that you wanted to do and you've said to yourself? Yes. Here's the point I'm trying to make with this. I call this the training and balance scale, but the most important thing about this is do not ever worry about how it's going to happen.

Ooh. Never, ever, ever try to control the how. No, because if you're a believer like I am. Yes, sir. You notice, say it [00:30:00] a lot in the Bible is what we call supernatural.

Nwayne Davis: It is. How did that happen? Supernatural. Where divine appointments can, can't explain it. Yeah. Can't explain it. Don't try. Even for me,

Chastin J. Miles: yeah.

That's how a lot of stuff has happened. Yes. I don't know how I got here. I don't know what the,

Nwayne Davis: I don't even know where I'm right now. I dunno where I'm right now, like, you know, but I know it's

Chastin J. Miles: amazing. Exactly. But it's having that mindset of expectancy. Yes. Yes. You know, like. I know I'm gonna be successful.

Nobody can tell me otherwise.

Nwayne Davis: Can you pause right there? Yep. You got it. Expectancy, expectancy live a life of expectancy. What you expect, chances are will happen. It really will. And so I, okay, I'm gonna be real. This is small, but this is, but I can go big too, but I don't wanna be out. Go big. I don't wanna be out here bragging.

I'm gonna go small. Okay. Lemme tell you something. When I go somewhere, I'm a brunch girl. I love to brunch. If you wanna find me, I'm at brunch. Okay? And so anytime I go anywhere, most times than not, [00:31:00] I say before I even get there, I say, God, thank you for a good parking spot. Now, good doesn't always mean upfront 'cause I told you I'm on my weight loss kick.

So sometimes I have to park far 'cause I'm getting ready to go in here and eat chicken and waffles. But a good spot could be under a shade of tree, A good spot could be upfront. It's whatever I need. I'm expecting him to deliver that. You know how, you know why you and I can expect great things from God.

Do you know why you and I this? I'm sitting here fanning out and when we, when this show is over, listen, just tell them. Don't call the police if they hear anybody yelling, it's all good yelling, but we are, we can expect this. And here's, here's where I'm going. So this may be tough for some people. I'll speak for myself.

I can expect great things because I do my best to open doors for people and make great things happen for them. And I don't do things for people because it's tied [00:32:00] to, uh, a benefit to me. It, it, I, it's just not, it's not, that's not why I'm in it. Some things, yes, they're transactional, we get it. But if I can help you, if I can help David, and that that is not tied to me in any way, why would I not do that?

Yep. Yep. I don't have a reason. Why would I not do that? So because I'm that person. I expect to get front row seat. I expect to get v i p I expect to be invited on a podcast with a dope man like you, who has an amazing platform who's doing amazing things in the community, who I dearly love. I I'm expecting that now.

I can say that with confidence now, because I've been the woman in the mirror talking to herself and convincing herself, you are that chick. Like I was, I was on, I was on my issa ray type stuff, you know? I was letting myself know, no, you got it. You are gonna do, yes you are. You're gonna do it. You can.

Right. So that's how we can expect it. But if you're not sewing, if you're not sewing into people, and if you're not sewing into greatness, you shouldn't expect [00:33:00] it. Yep.

Chastin J. Miles: And one other thing about the expectancy is that you have to truly believe it. You have to truly believe it. It can't just be a novelty.

Like it can't, it would be nice to have, like you have to truly believe for yourself. Exactly. Yeah. For yourself. You do. And I'll tell you this. I know personally, it relieves a lot of stress in life. I mean, running business, having a following, doing what I do, I don't,

Nwayne Davis: I I know God's in your life. 'cause I don't know how you would do it.

I really don't. It brings a lot of stress, you know, I imagine

Chastin J. Miles: and a lot of bad things happen that nobody would even know about. Um, you're not posting that. Exactly. Um, but you're going through it. I don't even share some stuff, but I'm going through it. You are. But look, it doesn't break me because mm-hmm. I know in my heart of hearts, mind of minds in this whole world.

Say it. Say it. I am going to be successful. I am successful now. I'm gonna have everything that I ever [00:34:00] want. You will, sir, in this life you

Nwayne Davis: will. And so you will. Anything It's already been

Chastin J. Miles: written. Yes. Done. And so anything that like comes up against me or tries to throw me off or anything like that, I know that that's just part of

Nwayne Davis: getting to where I'm trying to be.

We already talked about that. It's sharpening you. Yes. Yeah. And I know that preparing

Chastin J. Miles: it's temporary as well. Yes, it is. I know that it's extremely passed, temporary. Agreed. So it doesn't, it doesn't make me contemplate my decisions anymore. It doesn't make me contemplate life. I, I know that like, okay, well it's gonna be solved.

I don't know how, I don't know when it's

Nwayne Davis: gonna be solved. And can I give you another way to look at it? And hopefully your listeners, of course, another way to look at it when we face difficulty, God if, how can I say it? When we face difficulty, if you are constantly just keeping your focus on the difficulty, then that is all you will see.

Mm-hmm. But if you are looking for the beauty in the ashes, I promise you'll find it. [00:35:00] Case in point, Bella, I had a flat tire. Now I drive a car that in my mind, I should not have a flat tire. But who are you? Everybody has flat tires, but in my mind I felt like I shouldn't have to have a flat tire. Right. So this was one of those life events that let me know you, you about to have a flat tire.

So I have a flat tire. I'm, it's, it's, it's an inconvenience. I'm annoyed. I got stuff to do. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm brunching. You know what I mean? I, I'm kidding. Yeah. But I really had some things I needed to do that day and I was working and, um, flat tire. I waited, it felt like two hours for the people to come help.

No worries. I worked, thankfully I was able to work from my car. Mm-hmm. The gentleman who came to help me, That was a whole divine appointment. Mm. And I knew in that moment, baby girl, chill. You were, he, you were still able to do your job. So there was nothing lost. You were in your [00:36:00] car at a, you know, on the side of the gas station road.

But it's okay because the point God needed you to meet this young man. Mm. Because what he had to say to him needed to come through you at this moment in his life on this day. Wow. If you see life, let me say it this way. I see myself as a servant. And if you see yourself as a servant, and if you, if you find opportunities to be a blessing to other people, even in the hardship, even in the shit, how do you know that that hardship is not what led you here?

And I will say, I have stories I won't share now, um, where it was extremely difficult, very, very, very hard gut wrenching, like you got sucker punched and that event or that situation led me to something phenomenal. So yeah, we can't, we can't, we can't get, we can't get [00:37:00] caught up in the thorns on a rose. We can't get caught up, you know, and miss the forest for the trees.

We

Chastin J. Miles: can't. Yep. And one thing that I can say is if I hadn't gone through some of the stuff that I did before, there is no way in the world I would be able to handle what's going on now. No sir. No sir. There is no

Nwayne Davis: way. Lemme tell you something my sister says often, and it's so smart and it opened up a world of creativity and knowledge for me when she said it.

So, when I was recently promoted on my job, She said to me, she says, I said, oh, you know, I'm just kind of telling her about my plan and you know what I wanna do and, and, and all of this goodness. And she says, I want you to understand, and I thought this was wisdom. I'm gonna share it with you. She says, I want you to understand that when a student graduates from the eighth grade to the ninth grade, [00:38:00] they don't go to ninth grade to learn ninth grade stuff.

They're in the ninth grade. Mm-hmm. If you're here, you've already done the work required to be here where you are right now, brother. It's preparing you for where you're going. Stop it.

Chastin J. Miles: You about to understand, you've about,

Nwayne Davis: oh my God, hey, I can't even take credit because my sister said it to me and it opened up my mind.

She said, stop thinking like a vp. You are already, you made VP because you already had VP in you. What you're going through now is preparing you for the next level. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't either. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't not either. Oh my God. Is that not wisdom that, oh, that'll free you, bro.

It frees you. Y'all we're not working for where we are. We already made it. We're here. We're trying to go there. So what we have and what we're doing now is taking us where we're going. So that's why the prep seems hard because you're embarking on something you've never embarked on. That's why I,

Chastin J. Miles: I don't know if y'all listening or watching this video right now.

Listen, but if you [00:39:00] did not receive what was just said, okay, like this is literally a chasing J Miles. Having a moment right now. Please this.

Nwayne Davis: I'm so grateful to God. 'cause that's how I reacted when she said it to me. Whoa. And I was like, whoa. You're right. Uh,

Chastin J. Miles: that's why that will forever stick with me. So don't be surprised if y'all see that in a future video.

It's recorded

Nwayne Davis: because, so we'll have it forever.

Chastin J. Miles: That's going deep in the, in the encyclopedia in my brain.

Nwayne Davis: That is. Wow. And I wish I could take credit, but I can't. I gotta give it to my lovely sister, NOI sister.

Chastin J. Miles: We love you. Thank you. We love you Nani sister. So, something I wanna ask you, because I know that there's people listening and watching and are probably sitting there thinking, yeah, this all sounds great, and I'm happy for y'all.

Yes. How can I get there too? Yes, I get it. How did your journey go? Just getting control of your mind and thoughts and

Nwayne Davis: discovery. Yeah. So we'll have to [00:40:00] come back for a show to talk about all how I even got everything. Okay. Because it, it's. Yeah. Okay. It's, we'll have to put a, you have to put a, you know, 17 and up.

Yeah. Disclaimer on that. Um, but at any rate, what I will say is it did start with therapy. It did. Um, I came from a very abused, uh, broken wooey. It's, it's not good. And obviously a very, very difficult marriage that ended in divorce. And I thought, okay, I'm going to church. I'm praying. I'm to your point, I'm, I'm doing what I know to do and I'm still plagued with the thoughts and my life and, you know, it's, it's still not going the way I needed to go.

And I did two things, and I don't wanna sound cliche-ish, but I got on my knees and I prayed and I, and I cried and I said, God, if you don't help me, I, it's over. Mm-hmm. If you don't help me, [00:41:00] Get out of what I know and unlearn all of the crap I've learned through my life. And if you don't heal me from all of the pain, I'm done.

You know, and not a, not a give up my life type. Done. Just, I'm not gonna be anything. Because everything that has happened to me up until that point, not everything but my life was it, I I was not dealt a fair hand. Yeah. I was born into some crazy, yeah. And I decided to go to therapy at a time that people were like, therapy, you don't need therapy.

What? Why are you gonna therapy? I mean that's, you know, I mean, you can talk to the pastor. Mm-hmm. Call him, you know, he'll talk to you. Um, and I started therapy and I've been on a therapy journey for five years, I guess. And that has absolutely changed my life, obviously along with God and, and prayer every morning.

Not perfect. But man, this life is hard. And I don't know how you're making it without [00:42:00] God. I don't know how you're making it without, when I say therapy or someone that you can, and I'm not talking about girlfriends and, and, 'cause we can't just call them every day and vomit on them. You know, pay somebody if the professionals to iron out some of this because we can talk through it.

But if you call me up and say, Hey, Nani, you know, I just, I'm trying to dye my hair and I like the blonde you had. How did you get it? And I'd be like, now Chase, now this, my hair has fallen out 17 times. You know, you know what I mean? You may not want to ask me, but, so we can kind of talk and hash out and, and, and swap hair dye stories.

But if you really want it done right, I'm gonna refer you to a professional.

Chastin J. Miles: Yep. I'm, I'm so glad that you say that. And that parallels with a previous episode. Um, we recently had Sharia Gonzalez on on the show. Mm-hmm. And she was sharing how. You know, she grew up drugs all around. Um, she's been trafficked [00:43:00] most of her, her life.

Mm-hmm. She's been on her own. Mm-hmm. And, you know, she talked about her faith and she talked about like, she's thinking this in her mind, but this is what was going on in her. Oh, absolutely. Reality. Absolutely. You know, and she shared some, some stories with, um, with us, but she also said that she reached out and it was always someone else to, you know, kind of show the way or show the, the other option.

Mm-hmm. And I tell people that all the time because especially us as entrepreneurs, we try to do everything ourselves. Like we gotta figure out. And many times you have to. Yeah. To be fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But, but

Nwayne Davis: when there is entrepreneurs are like single parents.

Chastin J. Miles: Yeah. But even for me, when there is help available, and I learned my lesson on this, like.

Don't be too proud to ask for help. Don't like, don't be too proud to please ask for help. Please. You are suffering more than you need to. And [00:44:00] even going back to manifestation, you may want some things and that help is presenting itself in front of you, left and right, whether it's an ad, whether it's a conversation.

You could be listening to this conversation. You could right now, and we're telling you this is the signal. Like this is the signal.

Nwayne Davis: Here's here. I love that you say that because think about this. I knew you had a podcast for as long as I've known it. Mm-hmm. Right? I've known you, I don't know when you started your podcast, but I know how long we've known each other, which has been a few years.

Mm-hmm. And I know you've had a podcast. To your point, I could've come up and said, put me on. Yeah, put me on that podcast. I got something to say. Right? One, I wasn't even ready. There was still more God had to do in me. There was still a little more Ooh, hardness. He had to, he had to, he had to get that heart right.

I was still a little bit, I was upset at a couple people still, and he had to work that out. Um, so I wasn't ready at the time. Of course, if you would've given me the opportunity, [00:45:00] I would've taken it and you would've got ready. Oh baby. Understand. We'd have come out here, we'd have faked it all. I said, put a prompter right there.

Lemme say that. Yeah. But, um, so my point is, you know, our, our, our, our, our journeys are what they are. Um, but you've gotta understand that. And, and I don't wanna keep bringing up Bible scriptures and everything I say. I want, you know, some people aren't Christian, some people don't read the Bible, so I don't, but what I am trying to say is we do need to understand how to be a bound in a base.

We have to learn how to have and not have. We have to learn how to give and receive. So all of those things are important regardless of your religious faith or if you're have a religious faith or not. As human beings on this planet, I need to know how to give and receive. And sometimes that's hard for us, and pride and ego kind of gets in the way and it's, well, what if I ask and they say no?

Or what if, you know, I, I'm looking kind of needy or, you [00:46:00] know, my, my, one of my biggest insecure is that I struggled with getting over is, is people thinking I'm weak. Mm. Because all my life, you know, not all my life, that's an exaggeration. But most of my life, my childhood life, some of my adult life, I wasn't protected.

Yeah. And so having been abused, obviously sexually abused and raped mm-hmm. Um, as a child and not being able to have food and me and my sister borrowing food, you know, from people and, you know, just growing up like that, you know? Yeah. You just, you, you kind of, you get to a place where you're thinking, who, who, who is there?

Right. Who will be there? Who, who can I trust? Who, because if I reach out, are they wanting me? If, if I reach out, if they help me, are they helping me? Because there's something tied to it, which was always my case, which is what stopped me from reaching out because I thought if I ask [00:47:00] you, you're gonna want something in return, because everybody did.

You weren't. So that's what hindered me. Um, but I do know now, no, you gotta reach out because people love you and if they love you, reach out to those people first.

Chastin J. Miles: Of course, of course. People that love you. Course. But I wanna, I wanna go into that. I, I wanna go into that. Let's do it deeper because. We're, we're, we're all embedded with stuff from childhood traumas, of course philosophies, thought patterns.

Mm-hmm. And that was a little difficult for even me to break. I grew up, which let me start by saying, I did not think at any time growing up that I had a bad childhood, that I was disadvantaged or anything like that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It was, it was all I knew because it was normal. It was, it was, it was normal.

Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Um, but as I reflect back on the path that I was going down, well, I wasn't making [00:48:00] good grades. Ooh. I had got put outta school. I had to go live with one aunt that wasn't working out. Oh boy. Um, parents got a divorce. Ended up finding out that the father who I grew up with, It was actually my stepfather.

Okay. And then when they divorced, I have a similar story. He didn't really wanna, yeah. I mean, yeah. He didn't really wanna do divorced. You too do, yes, I got divorced too. Absolutely understand. Then my understand biological father finding out he's been in prison all my life now, trying to talk and write

Nwayne Davis: letters and, and even get to know someone who I didn't even know exactly.

How do I do that as a child or as a young person. Exactly. I don't know how

Chastin J. Miles: old you were, but Well, yeah. I was like, I was young, adolescent age and oh boy. And even with all of that happening, there was never like a. Oh, this is my life and I hate my life. And, and can't believe is your, I'm going through, oh, this is your life.

What you knew.

Nwayne Davis: Yeah. I didn't think anything bad of it. And what did you have to compare it to?

Chastin J. Miles: I didn't have anything else to compare it to. [00:49:00] Right, right. And it wasn't until, because obviously my, my mom and the rest of my family could see the, the road that I was going down. Sure. And so, which

Nwayne Davis: to be fair is conducive with the life you grew up in.

Exactly. So you were on the trajectory Yeah. Of that life.

Chastin J. Miles: Me and my two brothers. Yeah. Sharing a room. Yeah. So it's, three of us shared a room. No, didn't we? In a two bedroom apartment? Like no heat, but Exactly. But I didn't think nothing of it. We didn't have a computer. I mean, literally No, literally. No. We had to go to the library to go use the computer to do our, and then my mom bought a typewriter.

Ooh Lord. When that typewriter came, we, you know, we was big time then.

Nwayne Davis: Ooh. When I first got my typewriter, and Lemme tell you something, baby, lemme tell you something, man. My, my dad who, who raised me, may he rest in peace. He wasn't my biological father, but he was the first person to buy me an electric typewriter.

Yes. Oh, you couldn't tell me nothing. Right, right. It was like having a new iPhone. Yeah,

Chastin J. Miles: exactly. And, and so, um, you know, obviously I wasn't in school with Yep. Kids who had other stuff. Mm-hmm. Or mm-hmm. [00:50:00] Everything was in reach for our level of thinking. And then it wasn't until I ended up moving with my aunt in Georgia.

Okay. So her job transferred her to Georgia and then all of a sudden I was moving. But I was cool with that because she was the cool aunt and,

Nwayne Davis: and you kind of wanted to leave all this mess anyway. Yeah, yeah. Like, let's just find something new.

Chastin J. Miles: Yeah. Now that move was a total 180.

Nwayne Davis: Was it transformative for

Chastin J. Miles: you?

Well, it was, but it was uncomfortable at the beginning. I believe that because it wasn't like nothing

Nwayne Davis: I ever seen. There was no dysfunction

Chastin J. Miles: there. Exactly. Like, like I was, I was, you know, seeing big houses and, and. Fancy people and this and that, you know, and I was even a little insecure about it. Mm-hmm. Um, so take my high school, for example.

Okay. Okay.

Nwayne Davis: Um, now are you in high school in Georgia,

Chastin J. Miles: or was Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so, so I moved to [00:51:00] Georgia and I was starting high school. Okay. My high school was, let's just say very diverse. Right. Great, great. It's great Uhoh. But see, I wasn't coming from

Nwayne Davis: very diverse. Understand. Come on, Nani. Listen.

Chastin J. Miles: And what I was coming from was a lot of negative chatter about other races.

Ah. You know, and it was kind of like,

Nwayne Davis: oh, I can't, and these weren't your beliefs, it's just what I've heard. So it's just, and it's what I've heard all my life, like, so I guess I need to just follow suit, like, exactly

Chastin J. Miles: like, oh, uh, steer clear, can't trust them. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uhuh, you can't, you know? Yes, I agree.

And so there were so many things that were just like, What is happening right now? Yeah. I told you the other day, and I'm gonna say it again, that was one of the best things that could have happened to me. I believe that, because that sent me on a whole new path in, in life. But there was, even to this day, there was a lot of embedded programming Yes.

That I've had to [00:52:00] rewire mm-hmm. Overcome and, and really think about where that came from. Why is that? Like, that's been, and is

Nwayne Davis: there any truth to that? Is there any truth? Is that were, were they projecting? Is, is, you know, were they just saying what they feel? All of that, um,

Chastin J. Miles: ah, wow. It really affected me in business where like I had to start to reassociate certain actions to what was going on.

Like, is this person doing this because they're racist or because I'm really not qualified? Mm. Or you know, like I, I smart. I had to start thinking that way. And I'm so glad that I started thinking that, that way because I'm too, if I hadn't, I would've written everybody off and I wouldn't be half where I am today.

Nwayne Davis: Chasten, not only would you not be, but nor would you have the success that you're having because the success that you're having, my friend, that success is gonna come from all types of people. Mm-hmm. [00:53:00] Mm-hmm. And when we get to a place, we, generally speaking, but certainly as an entrepreneur, when you get to the place where you understand one, who your, who, your audience, or who your clients are, but two baby money is green.

Yeah. We going where the money reside. We're not trying to, we, I don't care if you're white, black, male, female, Asian, Indian, doesn't matter. Yeah. I'm here to sell a home and I'm gonna give you the best service you've ever received in your life. Yeah. And you will come back 'cause this is the best that there ever is and was.

So when you operate in that vein and it only made sense, it, now that I know your story, it only made sense that God would have, would start you out there first and then take you through this growth. Yeah. Really is what it is. You gotta grow to be in an environment where you're not comfortable or that you're not used to, or that is different from you and thrive.

Yep. And that is exactly what you did. Yep. And that's where success is.

Chastin J. Miles: And it goes even [00:54:00] deeper. Um, you know, and luckily I'm, I'm very conscious and aware of these signals nowadays, but it goes even deeper to things that you wouldn't necessarily associate. I mean associate that are like embedded Sure.

Thoughts and philosophies like yes. Don't speak up. Yeah. Don't mm-hmm. Don't say anything opposite. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Of, you know what you're being told to do. Don't question. No, don't ask. Why Go with the flow. Like Yeah. Go with the flow. Yeah. Sit in, sit down, be quiet. Mm-hmm. Right. Be that chair. Or if you don't have as much money as someone else mm-hmm.

Then your thoughts and opinions don't matter. They're not as valuable.

Nwayne Davis: It's not as valuable. Or what about this one? You don't, you're not above a high school diploma. You don't, you don't, don't have a, a, a college degree. So we don't really have a lot to say to you. Yeah. Or, or you don't have a lot to contribute.

To me, [00:55:00] it's unfortunate.

Chastin J. Miles: Yep. And I'll tell you when it really showed up for me, um, here recently, well, it was probably like three years or three, four years ago, but I got asked to be on the, um, the external advisory board for the Dallas Mavericks. Yes. And. I was super excited about it. Yes. When, when, when it was going down.

And then I looked at the roster of all the other people on there. Okay. There, police chiefs, superintendents. Mm-hmm. Big, multimillion dollar CEOs. Yeah. Uh, I mean, huge people here in the city of

Nwayne Davis: Dallas. Sure. That's, and you're thinking, I don't, what am I doing on this? Don't in this group. Group. I don't belong here.

Oh, I, the lies we tell ourselves. I'm not at that level. Like, oh my gosh. So you had an imposter syndrome? Oh, real

Chastin J. Miles: quick. For literally the whole first season. Really? I probably didn't say anything. 'cause I was like,

Nwayne Davis: I, I never would've believed that. [00:56:00] Never would've believed that. And

Chastin J. Miles: you know, I've, I've had a couple conversations about this because oftentimes I'm always looking kind of at the next step up, like, oh, I want be like them.

Mm-hmm. I wanna be like them. Yes. But I failed to look. At where I've

Nwayne Davis: come from. Right. Every now and again, I, we need to do that. Exactly. Every now and again, we need to look back.

Chastin J. Miles: So I, I wasn't placing that value on myself. Mm-hmm. Like, oh, I've worked hard. Yes. I just, you know, I have value. I can speak. Yes. I was like, man, I can't compare to these other people.

Why am I even

Nwayne Davis: here? And it goes back to what I said, chasten one, not only were you chosen, they already decided that you mm-hmm. Belonged there. But it goes back to what we talked about earlier, that my sister said you were there. Mm-hmm. So, so the fact that you were a, you were on that committee, you had everything they needed.

Yeah. So when we tell ourselves, God help us, when we tell ourselves these [00:57:00] lies that we're not good enough, or we're not tall enough, or we're not short enough, or thin enough, or whatever, it's all a lie. It's just a lie to keep you. Rooted and grounded in either the dysfunction or the bondage that you're in to just nothing mediocrity or keeping it the same.

Right. And I'm, listen, I am, I will never, hopefully, ever say anything That sounds like, I mean, your life is great if it's here. If it's here. Mm-hmm. I think I made that clear earlier when we were talking. It's what success is to you. Exactly. Yeah. Now, if success is to you, you got your babies and you got your country husband, and y'all got y'all's farmland, and y'all are growing vegetables and doing it great.

Hey, that's success sweetheart. You are winning. Yep. But if you want more, starts here. Yep.

Chastin J. Miles: And I'll tell y'all success to me, stop being about money a while ago. Oh, if you're

Nwayne Davis: chasing money, baby, go ahead. Mm-hmm. That's not, that's, that's not, I [00:58:00] know the Bible says money answers all things, and I do have a lot of questions that I needed to answer.

I will say we can't chase money. Yep. Don't chase money. Oh my God. If you can, I heard someone say, um, figure out, no, how did she say it? She said, whatever you love to do, figure out how to make money at it. And I can say who it is, but I don't wanna, you know. Yeah. She's famous, so I wanna Problems. Yeah. But, um, I'll never forget that she said that.

She said, whatever you love to do, figure out how to make money at it. And then because we, and, and this is kind of cliches, but we've always said it. If you're willing to do it for free, you love it. Yep. What we're doing right now, I would do for free. Well, I said, I said that, I said that loud. May have to edit that out.

I'm not willing to do it for free. Free, but not

Chastin J. Miles: free. Free. Not free. Free. But free enough. But

Nwayne Davis: free. Yeah. I'll do a favor to a friend. Yeah. Um, but seriously, no lies. I do this for free, bro. I would talk and, [00:59:00] and help people and get people to their next level and get them, get them out of the bondage because I was so bound for so long from being victimized and abused and lied to and beaten and just all kind of crap.

I so get it. And shame on me if I get free and don't tell you how to get free. Mm. And don't share with the world how they may be able to get free, you know, or what worked for me and what may work for them. No shame on you if you made it out and you're not reaching back to help others. And so that's what this is for me.

Chastin J. Miles: So when it comes to that, when it comes to helping other people, do you feel credible enough? Credible enough to, to share wisdom, share instruction? Share? Yes.

Nwayne Davis: Okay. Yes. I would say yes. I have lived it. I am. I don't mind sharing my story. Um, I [01:00:00] don't mind talking about the mistakes, the things I did because of my environment, um, and how I got out and how I got free.

I'm not saying I don't cry. I'm not saying things. When I think about, I mean this, there's only one or two things, you know, that I may just drop, start crying right now about. And usually it's the goodness of God and how he brought me out. And there may be one or two things that's that's going on in my life, but man, I I, I've lived it.

Mm-hmm. I've lived it. And I do have expertise, if you will. I say that loosely, I shouldn't say expertise, that's not fair, but I have life experience. Say it like that. Mm-hmm. That qualifies me to be able to help people because I've been her. Yeah. I've been her. And when I say her, I've been a lot of hers.

Yeah. I've been angry. Frustrated, beaten, broken. You know, when I was thinking about what, how I wanted to brand the [01:01:00] podcast, um, that I am helping to decide, wait, what? What?

Chastin J. Miles: Hold

Nwayne Davis: No, no, no, no. I just got in there, but I Oh, so, so, so I've been green lit to, is it green lit or greenlighted?

Chastin J. Miles: All of it. What's the production name?

Whatever it is. We know what it mean. I, I got the

Nwayne Davis: green light. Yeah, that's what I got. The green light. And so I am going to start a podcast and it's going to be dope and it is necessary. Details, bro. Mm. Necessary details. Is that, is that the name of it? That's the name of it. Necessary. That's what I settled on.

And you know, one of the producers came to me and said, well, that's your initials, NOI Davis. Oh. And I was like, oh my God. So it was one of those moments, yeah. Where I was like, okay, this is meant to be, Um, I don't know why

Chastin J. Miles: I'm tearing up over here. Just,

Nwayne Davis: I, I, listen. Listen. Okay, cha. Alright. I am trying my best because I wanted to come on here and I [01:02:00] told you I would be me, but I wanna be able to talk and not fall out.

Yeah. But when I tell, and I don't even know where we were going, I don't, I don't know where we were going. Yeah. Because now I just got to thinking about, I just said it. Mm. I just said it just now, it's real. I said it just now and you, this whole moment is amazing and wonderful and it goes right back to what we were talking about.

Excuse me, in that manifestation number one, speaking it into existence. Mm-hmm. Number two, I don't know if we got here, but opening opportunities for other people. Mm-hmm. And I alluded to it a little bit earlier, but what I wanna say is there was a gentleman who I helped. Get in a door that he needed to get in.

Okay, let me say it like that. No, no, no, no attachment here. Yeah. I don't benefit from that at all. It didn't matter. And not, I think [01:03:00] that same week, that weekend is when I saw you and you said, would you be willing to come on? And I thought, what? And this is the time Chaston. Yeah. This is the time and the time is now and it's gonna be real good.

And I was telling David earlier, I don't know where it's gonna go. Mm-hmm. I'm just gonna enjoy the ride. But no, we will always be able to say it started here. Yeah. Right here on this couch. That's

Chastin J. Miles: so, man, man.

Nwayne Davis: Yeah. Right here, right now

Chastin J. Miles: bro. And I want to sit in this moment, but there's something like, I really want to ask that.

Please. You can ask me anything. Kind of kind of going back to what we were talking about. Yeah. Before, um, you mentioned earlier in the podcast, you're a mother. Yes. You, you, you, you support a lot of people. You have a great network. You, um, are very well at your job. And look, y'all, she got a real, real good job.

I know she not saying it, but she got a real, real good job.

Nwayne Davis: I work for an [01:04:00] amazing organization.

Chastin J. Miles: She got a real, real, real, real good job. I got real good job. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, with that being the case, yes. Because I parallel that with even me and similar others in, in, in my position, you know? Yes. With employees and payroll and clients and um mm-hmm.

Following mentees, all that, like there's a bunch of people that we have to support. Support, yes. How or what's your thoughts? I'm not even gonna ask for advice. Okay. Because we may be at the same place with this. Okay. How do you feel or how do you think about needing to be strong for others? Yes. When you're really feeling like you don't know your next move.

All right.

Nwayne Davis: So I I'm a, I'm a I'm gonna always give it to you real. I don't know no other way. 'cause trying to make [01:05:00] up stuff and be fake is too much work and I forget what I said. Yeah. So let me just be real. Yeah. Um,

I don't know that I'm great at it yet. Mm. Because I'm still working through, I am the type of person that, man, I've, I, I have to tell you this off, off camera, but I, I have been in that moment at my lowest and someone called in need and, and I showed up. And I think the reason why I say I'm not great at it is because I will be whatever my network needs whenever they need it.

And then I crash, you know? And then I go, oh my God, I gotta have a day or two. And then I, and then I just have to kind of shut the world off. So I'm not suggesting that people do it that way. I think that managing expectations and where I'm going with this story is, that's where I'm learning now is, you know, obviously you have to own your, no, just [01:06:00] like you own your yeses, but I'm learning now to just pace myself.

And I'm learning now to just simply say, listen, if I, if I can't, I can't. And I just have to say that. Um, but it's never a situation where I can't, if it's, if it's, if, if I can be there for you, I will, my network knows I'm gonna always be there. It may not be in the way that you want, right? Because you may say, Nani, I need you to listen to me right now.

I'm going through something right. Well, I'm a, I'm on, I'm on my way into the podcast. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm kidding. I would absolutely be there. But it's one of those situations where you really just have to balance out is this v i p, is this very important? Is this a life changing moment or can this wait?

Mm-hmm. And when people are in situations, it's a, this can't wait for them. Right. But is it really an emergency for you? And you have to be able to determine that for yourself and balance that out. Yeah. Because [01:07:00] as you know, our families and friends, well if they're coming to us, it's a fire. Yeah. Right. But it may not really be true.

They may can wait.

Chastin J. Miles: I think the way that I've unfortunately went down those roads mm-hmm. Is taking on the burden. Yes. As if it's my own. Yes. I've made that mistake in a sense of like, there are certain people in my life that I never want to say no to. Oh gosh, no. And even if I'm not in a position to do.

What they need at that time. Mm-hmm. I'm still gonna say yes and possibly place myself in a very uncomfortable situation. I've done it often. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just to make sure they're taken care of.

Nwayne Davis: Do you know why we do that, Jason? Why is it we do that? You, you find that a lot in people who have childhood trauma or abuse.

Mm. Because we become, it's, it's, I don't wanna label [01:08:00] this, so let me be, let me just talk for myself. But there are similarities in, in, in you and I, but I'll speak for myself. I learned that somehow people, children or, or adults who have childhood abuse and they've survived that we almost become, oh, I hate to say it like this, but, but some of us tend to become paralyzed to being needed.

Mm. So when. We give off this energy. We talked about that earlier in the, in the podcast. We give off this energy and, and it could be that we are good helpers and we are great project managers, if you will. And we can multitask, obviously you can. Mm-hmm. Um, and so we, we kind of make this name for ourselves and our families or friend groups that we We got it.

We'll do it. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I think it's important to let your network know that you are there for them [01:09:00] and for many of us, our network knows that. Mm-hmm. But it's also important to be able to say, I, I can't today. Yeah. You know, because the real stuff, the real stuff, you are gonna be there for the stuff that can, it really can wait till Saturday.

I'm gonna hit you up Saturday morning. Yeah. And that's what I've started to do even in my friend groups. Um, and even if it's a, Hey girl, call me at eight. I've gotten those calls in because I want my network to know that I love them and that I am here for 'em and that all that I'm doing right now, although it's taking up more time than normal, I haven't forgotten them.

And who's with me on my journey and the people I'm gonna call when I leave outta here screaming and yelling. Yeah. You know, I, those people, they, they got me whenever they want me, but I had to get some of them to a place of respecting boundaries and understanding that it, if, if I can't do it right now, doesn't mean it's kind of like [01:10:00] when God says, I'm not, it's not a no.

It's, it's a delay. It's not a denial. No. Not come when you want it, but yeah. Be there right on time. I'm not gonna do it right now. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm, I'm gonna get to you. Yeah. Um, but I think understanding boundaries and learning what your journey is and making sure that you don't get too off course with somebody else's stuff.

That's

Chastin J. Miles: important. Have you faced adversity with that, setting those boundaries?

Nwayne Davis: I have. I have. I, I have, I have had family members not talk to me. Um, you know, I've had friends overstep boundaries. I've had relationships. I've had to end relationships of 30, 40 years that, well, no, let's see. Not 40, 'cause I'm not that old, but, you know, 2030, let's go to 2030.

Okay. Go. 2030 is go. Yeah. I, I mean, I have, and it was tough and it was hard for me because I didn't grow up with boundaries. Mm-hmm. I didn't know what boundaries were. Right. I just let people just run off, just do whatever they wanted, do, say whatever they wanted to say, vomit their emotions on me. [01:11:00] And I just took it because I was labeled the strong one.

It's not that I'm stronger than anyone else, or stronger than the rest of my family or friends, it's just, I take it all to God. I take it to him and I say, God, this is, look at this. This is heavy. I take it to him. It's not that I'm so strong, it's just he, he's carrying this burden with those

Chastin J. Miles: people specifically.

Do you or how do you take the Oh, she this and that now, or she not, oh, you done forgot where you came from because you're, you're very successful. And I've, I've gotten those types of comments mm-hmm. And, and remarks from people. I

Nwayne Davis: have, I have, I have, uh, I will tell you, um, someone said to me that, um, how can I say it without putting them all West?

Saying what they, well, they'll know they [01:12:00] said it. Nobody else will know. They said it. But I don't even wanna put them out there like that, even though they'll know. Um, I'm careful about that too. But I will say, 'cause they, they, they said it out of their pain. I get that. You know what I mean? At the time I was upset, I was hurt, but, but I understood.

They set it out of pain. And when you're in pain, ah, you know, hurting people, hurt people. So I understood that. But anyway, what the comment was is you are now at a level where what you went through in your life, you're living your life is good. You living good, you driving good, you eating good, you brunching every day, you know?

Mm-hmm. So you must, you, you should be okay. And what I needed to explain to them was the pain is still the pain baby. It's still hurtful. Um, my success, and I don't even, I don't even call it that. I don't, 'cause like you said, I feel like I'm, I'm. The, like, this is the first day of the rest of my life, right?

Mm-hmm. Yes. So I, I feel like I am just now building seriously because I've [01:13:00] been working for people my entire life and doing everything they wanted me to do and doing it the way they thought I should do it. And even though I work for a corporation, thank God, thank you for the people that, that I work for, because they do let me show up Yeah.

As myself, be you. And they let me be me. And they, they, they let me handle what I need to handle in the way that I know makes sense for my style, and that also fits within the rules and regulations of my organization. Mm-hmm. Fair. That's a sweet spot you gotta find. And, and thankfully we found it. Um, but for me, I,

Chastin J. Miles: yeah,

Nwayne Davis: I get it.

It's, yeah. How can I say this? She, so basically the comment was, I shouldn't. Let's minimize what I've gone through because now I'm doing well. Mm-hmm. There's, there, there's where I'm, that's where I'm trying to go. Yeah. Oh my God. And I'm trying to say it, you know, I'm trying to keep it pg and that's, that's [01:14:00] essentially what was said, and I thought, nobody paid me for my story yet.

I mean, they probably will when they, if they ever hear it, it's going to be a blockbuster movie because my life is incredible, but nobody's paid me for a movie. I'm working, I'm, I'm making money based on my job and what I do. Right. But when you get that kinda, it can't be that bad because you look how you're living.

How do you think I got here? And not only how did I get here, how am I maintaining this? It's not like I bought the lottery ticket and won the lottery. That's a little different. But in order for me to maintain the life I'm living, I've gotta not only do what I've been doing, but I gotta level up. Yeah. So this isn't a, I'm just chilling now.

Chastin J. Miles: I'll never forget. Someone said to me, you know, when I started sharing my story and you know, just putting more out there. Yeah. They said to me, do you really feel like you have to share that stuff [01:15:00] and say that stuff to become successful? Share

Nwayne Davis: what stuff and say what stuff my

Chastin J. Miles: life. Yeah. Absolutely. What I went through.

Nwayne Davis: Absolutely. You do what you owe it to the world. You know why you owe it to the world Chaston because the world needs to know who you are. Mm-hmm. They don't need to just see you fresh on a podcast. Driving good, eating good, living good. We can, we can, we can watch the b e t awards for that. Yeah. Yeah. I wanna see how did you get here?

How did you make it out of that shit and got here, bro. Yeah. That's the story that has to be told. And you know, I've yet to fully tell mine and I certainly will. I don't have a problem doing that. Um, it's just the appropriate. Platform to do it, but people need to know, like we talked earlier, how do they get out?

Mm-hmm. And, and I say that for the sake of the conversation. I don't wanna say it like, Ooh, we made it out. Mm-hmm. I mean, I, you know, I don't like talking like that. 'cause we still, we're still with our people. Right. We're still here doing what it is we do with [01:16:00] our family and friends. So I don't necessarily wanna, and more than willing to share.

Yeah. And I don't wanna use willing to open use that term. Made it out. I just wanna say, what I like to say is I got free. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's how I like to say it because regardless of where I'm working now and living now, if I were working anywhere else or doing anything else, I would still hope that I'd be free here.

'cause if I'm free here, Then I can, I might, I might be able to change my situation, right?

Chastin J. Miles: I just might. Oh my gosh. Yeah. We've talked about so much everything on this. Everything we done, we done been around the world and, and could do more, right? Yeah. Oh, there's so much more. We can sit here all to uncover.

So just to kind bring it all in. Yes. I'm gonna do this first and then you, you're gonna do it. Yes, sir. Um, I just, I just want to give people one big takeaway from me, and you could share one big takeaway from you, but something just to possibly even [01:17:00] rewind. Listen to again, or, or just make sure you're not leaving this, this episode without, without this in your back pocket, without a

Nwayne Davis: takeaway.

Yes. We've gotta have a takeaway.

Chastin J. Miles: My biggest, biggest thing today was that quote from your sister, my sister, about where you are. Now Uhhuh. Right. And what you're going through. Yes. That's preparing you for the future. Because where you are now, you've, you've already done the work for that obviously. '

Nwayne Davis: cause you're there.

That's not your battle. You don't go to ninth grade to prepare for ninth grade. Yes. You're already in the ninth grade. You're already there. You're preparing for the 10th grade. Come on. If I didn't think she'd charged us, I'd say her name. Kidding. I can't even articulate it. Right. But that was just, but that's what she said.

Well, why didn't listen to that, please. Yeah. Like, hit, subscribe and then rewind. Yes. Got it. What

Chastin J. Miles: about you? What was

Nwayne Davis: your moment? My, my takeaway, oh God, are so many that one, [01:18:00] your, your response to what I said my sister said is, is was mine. Exactly. It was eyeopening. It was mind blowing. And hopefully it's that for your listeners.

Mm-hmm. Um, but my takeaway is what I walked in here with and it was. Keep helping people, keep loving people despite what they say and what they do. God's got it. Mm, God's got it. And man, I'm telling you, walking into this building and I'll tell you later what 1, 1 1 1 means to me. When, when I got the address, it didn't even, it didn't even dawn on me when I pulled up and saw it, I was like, wow.

Anyway, listen, takeaway is exactly that and I appreciate you forever and a day. Yes. Forever and a day. I promise. Thank you. I

Chastin J. Miles: appreciate you for being here. And I wasn't, wasn't [01:19:00] gonna say this, but you brought it up. Please do. My office is in this building and the, and 1, 1, 1, 1 meant something at the time and.

There were some things that I didn't agree with, but I said I need to mm-hmm. Sign this lease. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Just because of that. Yep. And, yep. We love y'all. Listen, thank you d we love you so much. For me here, we have to have a part two. Yeah. Yeah. Because there's

Nwayne Davis: so much, there's so much that we didn't say.

Yeah. There's so much money that we left on this table. We gotta ease everybody. We, we gotta ease them in. They not ready. Okay. Ease them in.

Chastin J. Miles: Thank you, chasten. Thank you. Thank you for listening to the Power Unit Success Cast. If you're excited about what you just experienced, make sure to subscribe. Also, leave us a rating if something you heard resonated with you.

And feel free to share your thoughts about this episode on Instagram. See you next week.[01:20:00]

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